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A couple just got busted having sex in Uniqlo. I can't blame them.

Uniqlo is so hot right now.

The Japanese juggernaut has the fashion world by storm. It’s garnered a massive following, including people from the fashion circles of New York to everyday dags like me. The reason? It’s inexpensive, it’s really good quality wool, cashmere, and cotton, and it’s in every colour imaginable.

But this week when footage emerged of a couple having sex in a Uniqlo change room in Beijing, Chinese authorities cracked the absolute shits about it.

But, c’mon guys. CAN YOU BLAME THEM?

LOOK AT THIS: Every shelf perfectly stacked, perfectly folded. Perfect origami-like folds.

OH. YEAHHHHHHHH.

This is a store with thousands of quality pieces of clothing all perfectly displayed. Denim piled to the ceiling. Colour coordinated shelving. Feng shui designed stores of beauty and quality. SO MUCH STORAGE.

That would start ANYONE’s heart-a-flutter.

AND THE VALUE for MONEY. My God. The cashmere for under $100. The MICROFIBRE. THE COTTON.

OH YES. GIVE IT TO ME.

PDA.

For anyone that’s been there, it’s ALL YOU CAN DO in that place not to hump the puffy jacket wall.

Plushy.

The value for money alone is enough to make any woman’s stomach twist in excitement. AND THEN you realise not a SINGLE piece of clothing in that store carries the dreaded tag that fools so many people. The symbol that can ruin a brilliant clothing purchase with just three little words:

“Dry Clean Only.”

Every piece of clothing is washable. And you can trash them and wash them and by some virtue of Japanese Magic, they spring back perfectly.

CAN YOU BLAME PEOPLE FOR GETTING EXCITED IN THE PANTS BIT. NO YOU CANNOT.

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STOP IT UNIQLO STOP IT RIGHT NOW

So while the one-minute Uniqlo sex tape has flooded social media, and caused chaos for the country’s tightly controlled social media sites, it’s been a publicity boon for Uniqlo, with a continuous stream of visitors taking selfies outside the store:

The frisky pair remain at large, probably searching for another Uniqlo to christen.

True love.

More fash for less cash:

What’s so good about Uniqlo? 

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