From biting accidents to hospital visits…
By Kiarra Sylvester for YourTango.com
Sex. It’s one of the most basic human needs and possibly the best thing (next to food) on Maslow’s hierarchy. It’s also completely capable of going south in a matter of minutes—and not in the good way.
Of course, this tends to happen at the most inconvenient times. Though, I’m sure that there’s not a good time for your sex to go down in flames. Anyways, it’s happened to the best of us at one point or another.
You get in the mood, you’re more than ready for massive explosions but you get sparklers instead. I’m positive of this because once I cried during sex with my FWB. Even though it happened in the dark, it’s taken the cake as one of my most epic sex fails. Just one of them.
But today is the day you can rejoice over the fact that your epic sex fail could’ve totally been worse. Why, you ask? Because we have several stories, ranging from your typical “it happens” to the more belligerent stories, that require a much needed moment of silence and then evoke a major, “What. The. Actual. F*ck” moment.
1. “It was the last day of my cycle and so I did a little test when I went to the bathroom to see if there was any blood. I saw nothing so I thought I was good to go. At first we started in the shower, so I didn’t have to tell him I was on my period. But then I got bold and we took things to the bed. I took the condom off and began to go down on him. Once I stopped and went to the bathroom, there was blood all over my face like I had just ate a big cherry pie. To make matters worse, when he asked if I was on my period, I continued to lie and told him, ‘he went too hard.'” – Anonymous, 22
2. "With one girl, every time we had sex I went soft, like we technically never did it. I would be hard, get in and down goes Frazier." – Anonymous, 21
3. "I was working my night shift in the emergency room, when a man came in with a broken penis from anal sex. To make matters worse, he was cheating on his wife. My co-worker called his wife to inform her that her husband had landed in the E.R. and tipped the woman off to the fact that her husband had broken his penis while doing so. She couldn't tell because of patient confidentiality but she stressed to the wife that she should hound her husband until she gets the truth." - Anonymous, 39
4. "About 20 years ago, my friend was taking a road trip with her boyfriend and they got horny. He asked her to go down on him while he was driving. He had to hit the breaks, and when he did, she bit his penis and they had to go to the emergency room." - Liz, 50