7th Heaven is one of those shows anyone who grew up in the 90s or early 2000s seemingly watched against their will.
My family wasn’t particularly religious. My parents had no patience for the cringe-worthy and over-the-top moral lessons of cheesy American TV shows. But somehow, I’ve watched an obscene number of episodes of 7th Heaven.
That bloody theme song plays so clearly in my head, and I still remember how the credits included the role of the family dog, Happy, played by none other than a dog named Happy.
The thing about 7th Heaven that still sticks with me, however, is the utter ridiculousness of it. And I’m not referring to the family’s evangelism or obsession with ‘saving’ strangers or complete demonisation of pre-marital sex, which, yes, seem absurd to me. I mean the nonsensical plot points. The entirely disproportionate reactions to minor transgressions. The consistently unrealistic and unbelievable story lines.
These are the five most ridiculous things that happened on 7th Heaven.
The time Reverend Camden found a joint… and threatened to drug test all his children.
Guys, it’s not what it seems!
It’s not that Matt was smoking weed like literally every other teenager who lives in California. It’s that a guy at school offered it to him, he did not want to do it, but he put it in his pocket, it fell out when he got home, and the dog picked it up and delivered it to Mr Camden. Obviously.