The 7 reasons why my child's crying in a cafe.

My toddler cries in restaurants all the time, and not because I’m a crap mother who doesn’t care.

Yesterday it made news that a stranger blasted a mum whose baby was crying in a Lane Cove cafe. The mum said a few words back and the cafe owner and other patrons stepped in to defend her. It’s fired up a familiar debate about children and restaurants, and who belongs where.

But now I have few words to say to people who think it’s okay to open their traps and make any mother’s day even harder.

I hate to break it to you, strangers, but babies cry. You see, they can’t talk yet, or if they are saying a few words, they don’t know enough to effectively communicate their frustrations.

My son and I visit local cafes almost every day and we go to the ones where we feel welcome, and avoid the ones where staff treat us like lepers. It's their loss. I probably spend a lot of money in cafes over the month, and that's money you're not getting.

But even in my favourite cafes we encounter sour strangers who act as though I have some sort of magical control over when and where my child will cry. He's 17-months-old. He gets cranky. Yes, it's my job as his mother to address his wants and needs to the best of my ability and when I can't soothe him properly, think of different ideas that may transform him back into a happy toddler. And that's what I'm doing, while I'm drinking my coffee.

Here are 7 reasons why toddlers cry in cafes. If there are any more, please feel free to share.

1. He's hungry and we're about to fix that.

The main reason we often end up in a cafe is because it's snack time and my son has recently developed a love of melted cheese on toast and banana bread, both of which his mummy also loves. It can be so easy to stay at home most days and not get out but it's much healthier and more fun for us both if we go for a walk for our breakfast or morning tea and eat out.

2. He's about to go to sleep, or he just woke up:

Yes, cafe time normally coincides with morning or afternoon nap time but I do usually have a small window before he actually falls asleep for us to both share a snack. Sometimes this window is unpredictable, because babies are, shock-horror, unpredictable.

3. He's been sitting in his pram for too long:

I try and keep my son strapped into his pram for his snack. He does not like this. He wants to be free to roam around and knock all the salt and pepper shakers off the tables. He doesn't yet understand how disruptive this is to other diners. I do, which is why he's in the pram.

4. He's a bit sick:

This week he is recovering from a throat infection. I thought his cough was a bit croaky but it wasn't until his temperature shot up that I realised something was seriously wrong. He is now on those antibiotics that smell like banana and they haven't quite kicked in yet. His sickness means he's not sleeping well at night which makes my visit to the cafe even more important. Double-shot, stat!

5. I just took his favourite toy away from him:

Look, I'm not a germ-phob or anything. And he's my third child so I no longer carry around antiseptic hand lotion or medicated wet wipes. But he has dropped his rubber car several times on the way to this cafe. Dropped, as in thrown. And the last time he did it, it landed in what looked bird poop, so I've taken it off him until I can clean it properly. Sue me.

6. We are in the process of giving up the dummy:

To anyone who has tried to give up smoking, caffeine, sugar or anything really, you'll understand the pain my little boy is going through to give up the dummy. It's tough stuff, but I'm proud of him. Last night he slept for 30 minutes uninterrupted without it. The rest of the time? Well, let's just say it might take a while to get to a happy place once again. But then, if he still had his dummy, you'd probably judge me for that, too.

7. Because you're staring at him.

Stop starring at us, for crying out loud. The fact that you are shooting us dirty and disapproving looks can mean only a few things. You may have forgotten that you used to be a cranky toddler yourself. You have forgotten what it's like to have little kids. You lack compassion. You are an unhappy person in general. I'm going with the latter.

What are some of the reasons why your child has cried in a cafe? Have have you handled it?

Nothing can short-circuit your sanity like a screaming toddler having a full-on tanty. While you can't prevent or stop every one, these proven expert moves can help make them less frequent and a lot more manageable.

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