The seven questions that will determine once and for all if your relationship is healthy.

I don’t normally like to think about the health of my relationship too much. Anyone who’s been in a relationship for over a decade will understand why.

Sometimes it’s just a better idea to just let them continue as they are, without any introspection.

This morning I broke my unwritten relationship rule by flicking through a list of questions meant to determine the health of your relationship, according to the American Psychological Association.

By the end of it I wasn’t feeling very good.

The last compliment you texted to your partner. Article continues after this video.

I knew my relationship wasn’t perfect but I didn’t realise how divided we had become on the issues professionals deem important.

Dr. David Palmiter and Dr. Elaine Ducharme who wrote the questions say there are no “right” and “wrong” answers to the questions and there isn’t a score and a corresponding piece of relationship advice at the end of it.


You are the judge of how healthy or unhealthy your relationship is.

'I knew my relationship wasn't perfect but I didn't realise how divided we had become on the issues professionals deem important.' Image: Pride & Prejudice, Focus Features

Trust me, it become apparent pretty quickly if you and your partner are on the right track or have unknowingly gone off it. Into some prickly bushes.

Here are some of the most telling relationship questions from the survey:

  1. Do you treat each other like good friends?
  2. Are you good at problem solving parenting and financial matters?
  3. Do you ever go out and have fun together?
  4. Are your arguments about the issue at hand or everything they've ever done wrong?
  5. Are you both happy with how often you have sex with each other?
  6. Do you do nice things for your partner without expecting any thanks?
  7. Do you recognise the effort each of you puts into your relationship?

American Psychological Association

I'm not sure about your relationship but there are a few things my husband and I need to work on.

Without getting into specifics, let's just say I need to work on everything except number 5.

How is your relationship according to this survey?