"I've had sex with multiple men and I'm proud of it." 5 reasons I won't be shamed for being promiscuous.

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There’s nothing wrong with being promiscuous. Hell, it might just improve your life!

Our society is one big double standard, but I’m sure you realise that. You’re damned no matter what choices you make. If you’re overweight, you’re unhealthy; if you’re skinny, you’re on drugs. If you don’t drink, you’re boring; if you do drink, you’re a lush. If you don’t have sex, you’re a prude; if you do have sex, you’re a slut.

I’m being super candid about this because I was once a wild university girl, bar-hopping each week, drinking and dancing almost every night and having sex with multiple men. I was promiscuous; I won’t deny it.

Why would I put that all out in the open? Aren’t I afraid people will call me a slut after reading this piece?

No, not really because:

I don’t use “slut” to describe other women’s sexual choices. As Mean Girls taught me, “You all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores; it just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores.” It’s a muck term that tells a woman her sexual behaviour is wrong.

(Image via iStock.)

Sex is NOT something dirty. I'm not ashamed of it and I certainly won't let other people's opinions change the decisions I make. My sexuality and sex life is mine, not anyone else's. I think we can all learn to be more open about sex … it is a part of life, isn't it?

I couldn't give a sh*t about what people think of me. If you don't care what people have to say about you, then who cares? This is your life and nobody has the right to pass judgment on you (especially if they're trying to cover up their own actions by putting yours down). It is all about being happy with you. Do you like who YOU are?


I'm putting this out there because I believe there are surprisingly positive aspects to promiscuous behavior:

1. You get a nice confidence boost.

It takes a lot of balls to get naked in front of someone you don't know or aren't monogamous with. Even if you do know the person, intimacy changes the way you think. Nakedness leaves you vulnerable; there is nothing to cover your imperfections and flaws. You're out in the open.

2. You learn what you like and don't like in bed.

Nobody wants to have bad sex, but men are not mind readers. I once slept with a guy who was all about hard thrusting and rough sex but I didn't say anything for fear of making him feel bad. Could I have made the sex more enjoyable by speaking up? Absolutely.

Sex isn't a one-way street; it's about mutual satisfaction. It can be difficult to get out of your own head and stop overthinking every move, but don't be afraid to tell him what feels good. Men appreciate what you have to say, especially if it's constructive criticism that will help him please you better. (Post continues after gallery.)

3. You get a great taste of variety.

Like Forrest Gump says, "Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get." It applies directly to sex. You don't know if your hookup will be strictly missionary, super-kinky, or the right mix of passionate.

Every encounter is a bag of surprises. Do you want the same thing every time you have sex with someone? No, because the same thing can sometimes be boring. Having variety gives you a chance to try something new, whether it's a new partner or a new position.


4. You are 100 per cent free from commitment.

At different points in life, we might not be completely ready to enter a committed relationship. I know that when I was in college I was more interested in exploring all my options instead of feeling tied down to one person. Don't rush a relationship if it isn't what you want. Someone will end up hurt and you'll compromise your own happiness.

There is a lot of power in doing what you want. Just like some women make the choice to be intimate with different partners, other women make the choice to be monogamous.

(Image via iStock.)

5. You have an insane amount of fun.

Sex is FUN. Need I say more? We should embrace sexuality, not suppress it! Whether you are saving yourself for marriage or engaging in frequent sexual behavior, in the end it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

As long as you are happy with your choices, are making those choices of your own free will without pressure, and are being safe, keep doing what you're doing!

This article was first published on Your Tango. Read the original article.

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