entertainment

Steak is Not A Dress.

It’s Friday – time to pull up and listen to your weekly reading from The Book Of Celebrity brought to you by the our very own educator on all matters celebrity, Acacia Stichter.

1. MEAT IS THE NEW BLACK.

Lady Gaga on the cover of Vogue

What would a week be without a scandalous headline from Lady Gaga?  It would be like working all week and not getting a Saturday… that’s what!
This week Gaga has appeared on the cover of Vogue Hommes Japan in nothing more than a few slabs of meat. Yep meat! I’m not quite sure what the point of it is, but Gaga doesn’t do anything without some creative reasoning and as a loyal fan I will trust that she put a great deal of thought into this and will understand that sometimes clothes just don’t get the point across. Of course PETA is not very happy with her latest artistic expression with its president saying “Oh, Lady Gaga’s job is to do outlandish things, and this certainly qualifies as outlandish because meat is something you want to avoid putting on or in your body.”

2. THE BEST WAY TO TELL YOUR WIFE OF AN ALLEGED AFFAIR IS BY SMS WHILE SHE IS AT THE HAIRDRESSERS.

Colleen and Wayne

A sex scandal for a football player in the UK is a rite of passage it seems and the next cab off the rank is Coleen and Wayne Rooney, star player for England and Manchester United.
The couple, who are basically the new Beckham’s, can now add sex scandal to their list of career achievements after 21 year old Jennifer Thompson and Helen Wood revealed they had sex with Rooney many times while his wife was pregnant with their now 10 month old son Kai. Thompson (nickname Juicy Jeni) claimed Rooney paid her almost $2500 each time they had sex saying “Wayne chased me with sex texts and paid in wads of cash. He didn’t seem to care he was betraying Coleen.’ A friend of Coleen’s is quoted as saying; Coleen had been getting her hair done on Saturday when Wayne texted her to break the news. He’s a coward for hiding behind a text message, especially when they’d been together earlier that day.’ Now I am sure Wayne thought long and hard about the best way to tell his wife of the alleged affair(s) and obviously decided that an SMS was the decent way to do it.

3. USE YOUR CELEBRITY POWERS FOR GOOD RATHER THAN EVIL.

Angelina in Pakistan

If you are reading this and you are a celebrity with the power of fame, it is time to put down the champagne glass and follow the lead of Angelina Jolie to use your fame for the good of mankind instead of the sales of gossip magazines.
This week Angelina Jolie visited Pakistan in her role as a goodwill ambassador for the United Nations to highlight the incredible devastation caused by the recent floods to bring attention to the 20 million people who have been affected and appealing for aid from the international community. During her visit Jolie said ‘I am very moved by them and I hope that I am able to do something to help bring attention to the situation for all of the people in need in Pakistan,’  ‘This is not just a humanitarian crisis; it is an economic and social catastrophe’. Dressed in a black head scarf  and a long black robe, Jolie toured a camp and met with people who had been displaced by the heavy flooding taking many notes along the way and there by using the media to shine a light on the plight of the Pakistani people.

4. DON’T EXPOSE YOURSELF TO YOUR BODYGUARD.

Spears in Hawaii with new boyfriend Jason Trawick

A former bodyguard of Britney Spears, Fernando Flores, is suing her for sexual harassment claiming that he was subjected to “repeated unwanted sexual advances” and harassment during 4 month in her employment. In his lawsuit he says that Spears exposed herself on many occasions and summoned him to her room while she was naked. She was also said to have done several other things in front of him (and apparently her kids) that as a Britney fan I can’t repeat because it will make me blush. When she wasn’t exposing herself to him she was spending her time swearing and insulting him and when Flores reported this behaviour to his bosses was told “You know you liked it,”. I’m sure this story will develop or be settled in the coming weeks so stay tuned. Can I just add as a side note that Britney was holidaying in Hawaii this week and looking better (and by this I mean healthier and happier) than she has in years….the old Britney is coming back!

5. SEX SELLS. ALWAYS

Posh and Becks in the new ad

David and Victoria Beckham have released a new fragrance called Intimately Yours which has a scent for both Him and Her. The commercial is creating quite a storm in the UK with David and Victoria getting rather frisky in an elevator, of course due the ‘intimate’ nature of their scents. Everything these two touch turn to gold, since their wedding in 1999 the Beckham’s have made over $200 million on joint business ventures such as their fragrances and ad campaigns for Emporio Armani.

6. AGE AIN’T NOTHING BUT A NUMBER.

 

 

Did you know that a 1982 fitness video by Jane Fonda is the highest selling fitness tape of all time, selling 17 million copies? Well you do. With over 20 workout videos under her belt  the ageless Fonda who at age 72 (72!!) is bringing back the lycra for a new fitness DVD aimed at baby boomers and older adults, “I feel I’m at the right stage of life to get back into the fitness business and pass on all that I’ve learned about being fit over 50,”  said Fonda. This makes me feel really lazy so excuse me while I finish the lesson here, turn off my laptop and go for a walk.

Jane Fonda’s original fitness video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbYc8epvZ3I&feature=player_embedded

Please remember to keep your comments snark free.  Let’s be cool.  Like the Fonz