It’s meant with kindness, but it makes me want to scream.
“I’m not disabled, I’m pregnant.”
That’s what I silently scream in my head multiple times a day.
I don’t dare say it out loud. I have very loving, kind people around me. They are only looking out for me and my 24-week bump. But still every time they mention some dreaded few words, I have to squash the pregnancy hormones and breath.
“You shouldn’t be doing that…”
“You can’t do that…”
“You should be resting instead…”
“Soon, you won’t be able to…”
It’s me. I know. It’s me and my first world problem. Too many caring, helpful, supportive people. Poor, poor me. But still, it’s a problem that is just going to get worse.
The other day I read Bec Douros’s pregnancy post on her reflections of her first 20 weeks (you can read it in full here). In it she writes:
“This has been one of the things I have hated about pregnancy so far. I can’t do much without some help. Yes, it’s true. Things like tying my shoes and getting in and out of my car have started to become a real chore. On the up side, I get fussed over a little which is nice too.”
Bec, I love you (huge fan). But I admit that when I read that on a Friday afternoon, I eye rolled. Can’t even tie up your own shoelaces? Milking the pregnancy huh?
That's until I found myself the following Saturday morning, getting ready to take my dogs for a walk with my husband. As I was taking a while to get ready, my husband asked if everything was okay.
"Yeah, just struggling to tie up my runners." Damn it, Bec, you were right.
"Do you need me to help?" came his very genuine response.
Lots of silent screaming in my head.
I managed to tie up my laces on my own, thank-you-very-much, but it was damn uncomfortable and I fear one day it won't be a possibility.
It's not the fuss or the helpfulness that bothers me. I'm very grateful I have people around me who worry over me and my bump. I'm very grateful I have a husband who insists on carrying EVERYTHING (I'm only allowed to carry the bunch of flowers I bought at the supermarket).
It's more that I'm struggling to get used to the changes that come with pregnancy. I'm sure I'm not the only one in pregnancy history to find it all overwhelming. The boobs growing (read my apology to my former boobs here). The oily skin. The dry skin. The back ache. The sleeplessness. Moving from the fast walking lane to the slow lane on the footpath.
Read more: The no BS version of pregnancy.
Now, I'm just adding one more to the list. I've always been self-sufficient and quite proud of it. Too heavy to lift? Not for me, I go to the gym. Something you'd usually need two people for, pfft, I can do it on my own.