13 baby names that are actually illegal.

You may want to run these by your lawyer.

1. Medicare number

No, we’re not talking the words ‘Medicare number’ — we mean the identifying string of numbers that relate to your health insurance. This was just one of many names the Australian Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriage banned this year, and probably for good reason.

While it’s a sure-fire way to memorise your Medicare number for times you forget your card, we recommend just writing it down somewhere you’ll always see it, rather than on a child’s birth certificate.

2. [Blank Space]

We have a feeling this name was around even before Taylor Swift’s hit song; regardless, the Australian registry didn’t quite like it. Aside from the difficult of actually verbalising ‘blank space’, the registrar refused this name because it contains symbols or numbers — a big no-no in their guidelines. They can also refuse if they think the child will be bullied as a result of the naming choice.

Watch: Parents confess what they do once their children are asleep. (Post continues after video.)

3. Hitler

This one is rather self-explanatory. Worryingly, though, this name is not illegal in the US — a supremacist family in the States named a number of their children after Nazi figures.

4. Panties

We don’t even know where to begin with this one. Incredibly, Australian parents also tried to name their children D*ckhead, Virgin, Scrotum and Circumcision. Thankfully they were all banned for being offensive and obscene.

5. Pieandsauce

Anyone else a little disappointed this one got the cut? #Patriotism.

6. Facebook

A great way to pass the time? Yes. A good name for your baby? Ah, not so much. A family in the Mexican state of Sonato were devastated after the state civil registery listed Facebook among 60 names that were made illegal.

“The law is very clear because it prohibits giving children names that are derogatory or that don’t have any meaning and that can lead to bullying,” registery director Cristina Ramirez said.


7. Nutella

Despite how much you love the world’s most delicious hazelnut spread, it’s not going to cut it as a baby name.

Earlier this year a French court ruled a baby girl could not be named Nutella, arguing that it would make her the subject of derision. Instead, he said she could be called Ella.

Watch: The easiest nutella dessert. (Post continues after video.)

8. @

Ah, the digital age. Despite how ridiculous it looks, there’s actually a sweet story behind this one.

A couple in China wanted to name their son ‘@’, because in Chinese the symbol is pronounced “ai-ta”, which sounds very similar to the phrase “love him”. However, most countries (including Australia) do not allow numerals or symbols in or as names. If you’re really, really set on the idea, you can just spell them out.

9. Talula Does The Hula For Hawaii

Poor Talula Does The Hula For Hawaii (TDTHFH) was stuck with this name for nine years before a New Zealand judge learned she hated her name and made her a ward of the state to allow her to change it. In Australia this would probably be banned for being too long.

10. Apple

Sorry, Gwyneth — had Apple been born in Malaysia, this name would have been a no-go as naming children after animals, fruits and vegetables is banned.

Paltrow and her daughter. Image: Instagram.

11. Duke

Same goes for King, Duchess and Queen; official titles and ranks are illegal as first names.

12. Elaine

No it’s not because of the Seinfeld character’s terrible dancing; in Saudi Arabia, many western names are banned because they “contradict the religion or culture of the kingdom.”

13. Tom

In Portugal, it’s illegal for parents to register their children with nicknames. So Tomas would be ok, but Tom? No can do.

What’s the most questionable baby name you’ve ever heard?

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