Last year my 13-year-old sister was diagnosed with anorexia athletica. She was admitted to hospital for 3 weeks with a low heart rate. Obsessive exercise and limited eating left her with an unhealthy BMI. When she was released from hospital we went to family based therapy (FBT) for four months.
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It’s one week since Lou was released from hospital and my mum, dad, brother and I are in our first family therapy session. Nobody is talking. I know what we are all thinking: Why do we have to do this, it’s not our illness.
Why did she do this to herself and why can’t she just snap out of it? The hospital told us it is the illness talking when she acts like this, but how can it not be her when the screaming and swearing comes from her mouth? Where did she go, I want her back.
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Mum and dad take leave from work and become full time careers of Lou. At school they sit in the car and watch her eat recess and lunch to ensure it is not thrown in the bin. Each morning is a struggle to get her off to school.
She has a habit of throwing heavy objects at us. We have removed the door, curtains and any glass from her bedroom. She threatened to jump out of a broken window yesterday. Mum and Dad have warned the neighbours not to call the police when they hear screaming. When she ran away last time the police accused Mum of child abuse. Mum can’t deal with that again.
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Lou is a lucky girl indeed to have such a supportive sister. While reading this story I couldn't help but think of how the younger me would have reacted to having the "job" of distracting my sister and having to attend therapy sessions. Unfortunately I suspect I would have been pretty angry about it and resentful of all the energy and attention being focused on her - not an uncommon reaction for siblings of those suffering serious illness. Kudos to you for the understanding and maturity you have shown at such a young age.
I endured and overcame anorexia about 4 years ago now. I only had it for a short time, but I recently discovered that those feelings and thoughts about food can stick around, as they came over me just a few months ago when I dropped a little bit of weight unintentionally. Luckily, I am strong enough now to not give in to them, and I just hope Lou can do the same.