A toxic man will maneuver himself quickly to earn your trust and obtain your personal power. This is why you will allow the abuse, he will compromise you and forsake you – because to him that’s what love is.
I think we have all heard that we don’t get to choose who we fall in love with. If that is the case it is no wonder we fall for the wrong people time and time again – including toxic men.
Even if we do believe that we choose who we are attracted to, falling for the wrong person can still happen. The problem is not necessarily our “picker” but having the ability to spot toxic people. They don’t have signs or tags that label them as toxic. They walk among us at work, in our neighborhood, and at the grocery store. They are everywhere in our daily lives. So, by the time we spot one we are usually knee-deep in a seriously unhealthy relationship with them.
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This doesn't just happen in relationships but friendships as well and it's not just men who can be toxic. I went through a 10 year friendship with someone who constantly criticised me, gaslighted me, yelled at me whenever I disagreed with her about anything, blamed me for her getting a fine for not wearing her seatbelt when driving (because somehow that was my fault) she put my life at risk when driving one day by deliberately speeding and swerving across the road and when I screamed at her to stop she told me to get over it and stop being so pathetic. When I was going through severe depression she told me to get over it and that I was a pathetic loser in life. She didn't like that I had other friends and would get angry anytime I told her I couldn't spend time with her because I had other engagements. It wasn't until another friend pointed out that what she was putting me through was emotional abuse. To this day I don't know why I put up with it for so long but getting away from an abusive and toxic person is not as easy as people may think it is. Don't be fooled into thinking abuse happens only in relationships. It happens in friendships too. She's now out of my life and I'm happy and I have people who care about me and don't put me down and abuse me just to make themselves feel better. As for the former friend? I pity her. Constantly negative, never happy, no empathy and no self awareness. People can get away from her but she'll never be able to get away from herself. What a sad way to live your life.