I am short. Exactly how short? Well, I’ve tried to hide that by wearing heels almost my entire adult life. Now I have a daughter, and I know she’s going to grow up… well, she’s not going to grow up very much, because she’s going to be short like me. I want her to know there are some drawbacks to being short, but also some good things. So, my Mini-Mini-Me, this is life as a shortie.

You’ll get patted on the head by adults and picked up by other kids. You will know what it must feel like to be a Pomeranian.

That’s okay. Centre is the best position, anyway.

But if your friends ever make a human pyramid, you’ll be the one on top.

This will come in handy on many occasions, especially when you want to get a cheap ticket. After you turn 18, you’ll get asked for your ID all the time. Unfortunately, by the time you’re about 30 and really want to look younger than you are, this will probably stop happening.

But you will hear the word “petite” a lot. It’s possibly more irritating.

It’s just an hour of you standing on tiptoes, trying to find a gap between the heads of the people swaying drunkenly in front of you. Might as well download the album and stay home.

This is all you see at every concert you ever go to.

This is not some kind of gender-based prejudice. It's just that there aren't many guys shorter than you, especially now that Grant Denyer is taken.

You will have to pay to have them taken up first. This is like a tax for being short. You will live for the years when capri pants are in fashion. As for "one size fits all" clothes, that's just a cruel joke.

What idiot came up with the idea of calf-length skirts? Who wants to make their legs look even shorter?

Heels are just as comfortable as flats, once you get used to them, anyway.

Perhaps you will wait till no one else is in the aisle and then climb on the bottom shelf or on your trolley. Perhaps you will poke your fingers through the top shelf to move the item forward. Perhaps you will ask a tall, handsome fellow shopper to help you out.

Here's the not-very-tall Taryn Manning illustrating some of the problems faced by short women. Post continues after video.

It'll be impossible for you to bump your head on a doorway, unless you're sitting on someone's shoulders.

That's okay. You'll prefer sitting with your legs tucked up next to you, anyway. You'll get used to having to move the driver's seat as far forward as it will go every time someone else has been in the car. You'll be a tiny bit less uncomfortable than tall people on long flights (but only a tiny bit).

Reese Witherspoon! Yes! Hayden Panettiere! Yes! Lady Gaga! Yessssss!

You'll also be able to go along to parent-teacher night and not feel weirdly oversized in the classroom. This will almost make up for the fact that there will be Year Six students towering over you. Almost.

What other things do only short women understand?