For some, directional pillow talk with a new partner is a walk in the park. For others it’s about as sexually exciting as getting a pap smear or peeing into a cup for medical purposes.
Not like that.
A little to the left.
That’s good, keep going.
Ouch, you’re hurting me.
Have you done this before?
What do you say? How do you say it? What if they’re not into it? What if you’re not into what they’re into? How do you get out of there with your clitoris and dignity still in tact? THERE ARE SO MANY BLOODY VARIABLES.
Enter PlsPlsMe, an app created by New York advertising executive, GraceAnn Bennett that’s here to help the non-communicators out and take the awkward out of telling someone what you really want sexually.
“A lot of tough conversations happen through technology,” says Bennett. “If you have to look someone in the eyes, it’s just… I think it’s scarier; there’s nowhere to hide.”
But through PlsPlsMe, things are made simpler, less scary, and kind of fun.
The app requires both sexual partners to sign up and then individually asks a series of questions such as How important is cuddling?, Do you like to be blindfolded?, etc.
Answer options include Love It, Like It, Not So Much, and No Way.
Participants also have the option of asking direct questions to partners.
Bennett says that PlsPlsMe, which is named after The Beatles’ song, came following the breakdown of her 19-year marriage, much of which she attributes to a failed sex life.
Speaking on the Note to Self podcast earlier this week, Bennett said, “I thought he was supposed to figure it out. Figure out sex… figure out how to unlock me in some kind of way without me giving any instructions. Because instructions, to me, were a turn off. I thought, ‘OK, well, if I tell him then it kind of kills it.’ Just like someone telling you, ‘Buy me this!’ and then wrapping it up for Christmas. Right? It’s like, OK, this is not, this isn’t sexy, this isn’t fun. This isn’t how it’s supposed to work.”
Through working with sexual experts at the Kinsey Institute, Bennett was able to study the sexual habits of the satisfied, as well as those looking for something more.
Bennett also identified common topics of desire and turn ons and based many of the app’s questions around these.
And okay, we know that the idea of using your phone to improve your sex life seems somewhat counter intuitive, but hear us out.
Given that you’re on your phone all the time anyway (don’t think we don’t see your early morning Instagram scrolls), why not incorporate it in a way that’s meaningful rather than just socially isolating?
After all, waking up to a phone alert that lets you know your partner (who is conveniently lying next to you) is really into morning shower sex sounds like a compelling reason to allow phones in bed if ever we’ve heard one.
PlsPlsMe is available via the iTunes US store, with an international release date yet to be announced. Find out more about the app here.