Just when you were thinking that you haven’t heard any updates on Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom’s relationship in a while, BAM, we’re hit with a whole bunch of nude photos.

via GIPHY

Photographs have emerged of theLord Of The Ringsactor taking a relaxing beach holiday in Sardina, Italy with his singer girlfriend… except he is entirely in the buff. Because everyone knows you can’t relax while you’re wearing pants, obvs.

FULL BLOOM: Orlando Bloom bares all on vacation with @katyperry https://t.co/xDWmgcQGKl pic.twitter.com/U7khHrP1IQ

— NY Daily News Gossip (@NYDNgossip) August 3, 2016

Yep, that’s Orlando Bloom – who was previously married to model Miranda Kerr – taking a paddle across the ocean, sans pants. Oar-some. And of course, they’ve been published online for all the world to see. While he was wearing board shorts at the beginning of their date, he later let it all hang out, stripping off as he paddled Katy around the ocean.

THE DAILY STAR FRONT PAGE: “Blooming oarsome Orlando” #skypapers pic.twitter.com/YrwMX2IX0p — Sky News (@SkyNews) August 3, 2016

While we could go overboard with the pantless puns, we’re going to keep things classy, put on our investigate journalism hats and ask the big questions.

Like….WHY, ORLANDO, WHY?!

via GIPHY

It’s unclear whether the beach where the actor stripped off was even a nude beach. Judging by the fact Katy Perry remained fully clothed (or at least, partly covered up in a bikini), and the pictures show Orlando slipping back into his shorts to hang with friends on the beach after his nude splash, we’re going to go with no.

Perhaps he was simply trying to even out his full body tan. No-one likes a tan line, and Orlando may just be sensitive about having a pale peen.

Hey, at least he’s being sun smart and wearing a hat, right? Slip, slop, slap and all that.