If it’s satin, it’s dead to us.

A school formal seems like the most important thing in a girl’s high school life. For months (years for me) it was stress about what to wear, how dark a spray tan to get, who to take as your date and how to sneak alcohol into the after party (kidding, Mum).

Most schools have a dress code, sure. I think for mine it was “just don’t be naked” and even that was a bit of a bit ask for some. But a school in Connecticut has gone rogue and sent out a crazy list of rules for their student’s prom.

No shoulders, backs or knees showing.

No exposed stomach, thigh or excessive cleavage.

To get their prom tickets, students were told they needed to submit a photo of their dress to the school board for approval or risk not being able to dance with their crush.

The school’s demands are definitely missing the point of ‘dress code’, which should only be saved for truly horrendous fashion rules. Because we’re lovely people, we’re going to help them out with a revised seven-point list of things that should actually be banned.

1. Fluoro dresses.

Aside from Mia Freedman, who looked smokin’ in fluoro pink, and our writer Emily Verdouw, who somehow pulled off lime green, there’s nothing great about these colours. NOTHING.

2.  Sequin Shoes.

Sequin shoes are never okay.

Why were these ever a thing? Yes they were, because I wore them to my formal. Let’s keep them where they belong – in the bin.

3. Too much fake tan.

I was absolutely guilty of this. Here’s me at my formal on the left. On the right is my natural skin colour.

You’d think we’re different people.

4. Corsages.

They’re awkward, they die quickly and they’re old-fashioned. Unless they’re made of chicken.

5.  Satin.

Satin is not fetch, Regina.

It doesn’t belong in sheets or on women. It belongs in a fire.

6. Fedoras.

The fact that these still exist is a crime against fashion in itself. I don’t care if it’s Channing Tatum in a fedora and a suit. Fedoras must die.

7. Coloured suits/mismatched suits/stupid prints.

There’s nothing funny about the guy who turns up wearing sneakers and a purple suit.

Speaking of formals, take a look at what the Mamamia team wore to their formals. 

The Mamamia team at their formals.

The Mamamia team at their formals.

The Mamamia team at their formals.

The Mamamia team at their formals.

The Mamamia team at their formals.

The Mamamia team at their formals.

The Mamamia team at their formals.

The Mamamia team at their formals.

The Mamamia team at their formals.

The Mamamia team at their formals.

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