It’s Thursday morning in Kensington Palace and staff begin to drop their dusters, shuffling from the corridors with haste as the whispers begin to circulate. Kate Middleton is on the move.
Stepping away from her laptop, Kate has just discovered that she – the Duchess, the wife of the heir to the throne of Britain, the mother of two of the most adored children on earth – is not filling the news feed of countless humans around the world for the third week in a row.
All the palace staff will tell you, it's been this way since the news of Prince Harry dating "the American" broke.
And now, all people want to know about is Meghan Markle's family and career and Harry's intentions and what their official combination couple name will be.
"Marry" hardly works, because the younger Prince is known to be a commitmentphobe, but "Hegan" sounds too rough; too Scottish.
But whatever the outcome, Kate is not happy.
Where are the articles about George's socks? Why doesn't anyone care about Charlotte's bows anymore? Kate's fascinators? Her ability to carry a spade while still looking regal?
Top Comments
OK... I get that this is tongue in cheek, but is this the road we're going to go down? Pitting two women against each other, playing into the old stereotype that women all secretly hate each other? How about writing about it from another perspective, one where Kate is uniquely positioned to understand what Megan is going through, having to suddenly deal with this intense world wide media scrutiny? Where Kate is a supporter and friend to Megan, helping her to find her way in a life very different to the one she's used to? Isn't a big part of Feminism about women supporting and mentoring other women? Let's tell that story!
Because women can't be friends. That's just not entertainment. They must be pitted against each other and be nasty bitches.