Twitter. Get into it.

Demi and Ashton Tweets…..

I love the sound of my own voice. Perhaps that’s why I’m so taken with Twitter.  I’m a relatively late convert to Twitter but I’m earlier than everyone whose faces go blank when I mention it. Or those who look pained and reply with an irritated: “Oh, what IS Twitter, anyway?” *

Well, “I love the sound of my own voice” broadly answers that question and I’ve been answering it a lot lately because Twitter has gone utterly ballistic in the past few weeks. Even if you don’t participate, not knowing what Twitter is has become a serious liability. So before you are branded (gasp) uncool-and-out-of-touch by your friends, workmates or children, I’m here to offer an explanatory hand of help.

Being a Twitter expert with a whole – ahem – three weeks’ experience, I shall topline the basics for you. I shall also punctuate this column with a small sample of Tweets I have recently received or posted. [Dave Hughes: We're off to Baby Bunting, which if you don't know, is a one stop baby needs shop. It's either that, or sort out the bookshelf. Kill me now.]

First, the basics. Twitter is a website (twitter.com). You go there. You join. It’s free. Then all you do is answer the following question “What are you doing?”
You have 140 characters (a couple of short sentences) in which to phrase your answer, which is called a Tweet. This brevity infuses even the most banal Tweet with a certain pithy meaning. [Dave Hughes: Having new carpet laid that looks much like the old carpet. Yes honey of course we needed it.] At times it can even resemble haiku. [Ashton Kutcher: daily thought…Hold yr tongue & resist the compulsion 2 talk. Instead be a strong shoulder, an open ear, & a warm heart.] Either that or it’s drunk nonsense.

You can find people on Twitter with a simple search. They will find you the same way. When you find someone interesting, you ‘follow’ them, which means their updates are sent to your home page. Following someone doesn’t automatically mean they’ll follow you, that’s up to them. Demi Moore is not yet following me but hey, there’s still time.

The burning question obviously is: WHY? Who cares what you’re doing? Who wants to know about the minutiae of other people’s lives? Well, me. And it seems, others.

Twitter is a splendid thing for show-offs, voyeurs, marketers, those who are socially isolated, work from home or have small bits of time to kill on public transport or while standing in queues. It’s also handy for when you can’t be bothered to go out but still hanker for some social interaction. So it’s a recession-friendly way to socialise and is environmentally friendly because you don’t have burn any carbon by going to the pub. There are practical uses too. You can receive your news updates on Twitter (via CNN, the New York Times etc) and many major news organizations use it as a grassroots information source, such as during the Victorian bushfires.

Famous people Twitter. Some of them are real, like John Mayer who is prolific. [johncmayer: Saw Mick Jagger at the Vanity Fair party the other night and thought, 'Mick Jagger hasn't gotten less famous, but fame has gotten less Mick Jagger.' ] Others are fake but worth following nonetheless because they’re amusing. Politicians also Twitter. [Malcolm Turnbull: Just did interview on Sky with David Spears – off to Gladesville with Joe Hockey now.].  Many US politicians Twittered during Barack Obama’s first address to congress last week.  I’m following Obama. He doesn’t Tweet very often. I guess he’s a bit busy.

How is it different to Facebook? Facebook is like a big address book. Twitter is just the status updates aspect of Facebook with all the rest stripped away. It’s actually quite similar to the way many women use SMS – to communicate our observations about life and ourselves to our friends. Sharing them somehow infuses even the most boring activity with more significance and connection. Or tries to. [Lance Armstrong: Playing in the front yard with the kids. Bella's skateboarding, Luke's working on his pinewood derby car, Grace is being a comedian.]

It’s addictive but why? For the same reason Big Brother became obsolete. Social media like Twitter and Facebook and Youtube have made us all the stars of our own reality shows, broadcast to a receptive audience of friends, acquaintances and strangers. But it’s obviously not for everyone. As one friend quipped “I already know enough boring stuff about enough boring people.”

I’ll wrap it up with two very different Tweets that pinged onto my homepage last week which illustrate the spectrum of Twitter content.

KevinRuddPM: Meeting with President Obama in Washington next month – Global Financial Crisis, Afghanistan, climate change & nuclear disarmament on agenda

johncmayer: Coming up on 50,000 followers… Thinking I should put a little more effort into this…. Ah, hell with it. Hey everyone, I just pooped!!!

*While some may contest this point, “Twitter” is not, in fact, a collective noun for a group of Twits.