Married At First Sight Ep 4: Couples yell at other couples.

The ‘social experiment’ has hit the halfway mark. Time to celebrate with an awkward dinner party and some yelling.

Here are the highlights from tonight’s episode:

Alex and Zoe are turning out better than anyone expected.

Zoe went to visit Alex in his plumber workplace, but she wore heels. “There’s a lot of people here wearing fluro, but fluro is not really in this winter.” Classic Zoe. She watched Alex drive a bulldozer, and admitted she got turned on seeing him operate his big, huge piece of machinery (her words, I promise).

Later, Alex asked Zoe a completely unscripted question, “how many times do you think a couple should have sex in a long-term relationship?”.

Zoe: “4-5 times a week.”

Alex: “Wow. I was hovering around 2-3. Didn’t know I was married to a hornbag.”

Michael has a boys night. Roni does the ironing. They are turning out worse than anyone expected.

Michael said to his mates “You need some time apart for the heart to grow a bit fonder sometimes.” He also admitted that he is worried the spark isn’t there between himself and Roni (I can only hope Roni is not watching this at home on her couch right now).

He got home to Roni, who’d had a fun night with the ironing board and some crumpets, but didn’t really articulate the problem. He told the camera about his conundrum, “I do enjoy Roni’s company so I don’t want to hurt her feelings.” But in a deep conversation with her, he only said “I do enjoy your company”.

Speak up, Mick.

But they started so well: Roni and Michael in Week One.

The couples prepare to meet the other couples at a dinner party.

The psychologists told us four times, this is “a key part of the experiment, so the couples can compare their relationships.” Meanwhile, Alex looked forward to asking the other couples if they’d ‘done it’ yet. Stay classy, Al.

Zoe and Alex discussed how they intended to make the other couples cry, so they can be the last couple standing. I’m beginning to think they’ve mistaken this show for The Amazing Race. 

Lachlan and Clare were convinced that no other couple would have hit it off like they have. Lachlan said “I hope that Clare and myself have the deepest connection, the deepest love.” Beginning to think they’ve mistaken this show for The Bachelor.

The dinner party.

It was at some big fancy house that none of them lived in. And yet, they had to bring their own food and cook it. Maybe prioritise your budget there, Channel Nine.

Lachlan and Clare touched knees. Michelle and James held hands. The psychologists frothed at their evil plan working.

The couples took it in turns to express surprise that the other couples were so intimate (except Michael and Roni). Lots of praise to the evil geniuses matchmakers.

But then…

The shit hit the fan.

The conversation was turned (by the script) to ‘annoying habits in your partner’. Zoe accused Roni of not being honest, when Roni couldn’t find any annoying habits in Michael. Roni got so mad that she put down her cutlery.

Roni felt that Zoe was accusing her of not being emotionally invested. Zoe pretended she wasn’t. Zoe and Roni both stood their ground, usually starting aggressive arguments with “I’m just saying….”.

Then Michael told Roni to relax, which we all know is the WORST THING YOU CAN SAY TO A WOMAN WHEN SHE IS ANNOYED.

Clare and Lachlan cracked a joke to ease the tension. Conversation returned to normal while the psychologists (watching from their evil cave somewhere) pointed out that Roni’s aggression was due to her insecurity in her own relationship, manifested by the obvious connections in the other couples involved in the ‘experiment’.

Roni went to the bathroom to complain about Zoe to the camera in private, with a smile on her face. Then she cried, and coincidentally made me want to hunt down the ex-husband who broke her heart and kick him in the shins.

For photos from the episode, click through here. Post continues (with more photos!) after gallery…

Boys in one room, girls in the other.

Michael admitted to the boys that he’d never seen Roni get as worked up as tonight during the clash with Zoe, “and to be honest, I didn’t find that very attractive. I don’t think she handled it very well.” The psychologists then pointed out that Michael had not defended Roni, but in fact, he’d criticised her. Thank you, Captains of Obvious.

Meanwhile, the girls seemed to be doing alright around the dining room table. They giggled about their sex lives. Zoe to the girls “Yeah… it’s good. It’s really good…” Michelle said something similar. Go teams.

The big question.

Lachlan delicately asked the boys “so… in your relationships… in terms of intimacy… how are things like that travelling?”

Alex “We had sex on the second night.” Stay classy, Al. Love your work.

Lachlan admitted he and Clare went for it on the first night.

Michael and James avoided the question.

Spoiler: Want to know which couple DEFINITELY didn’t make it?

Back at home, two couples have a fight.

Michael told Roni she was a little too aggressive. They affectively had a fight with smiles. Both of them are concerned for their relationship.

Lachlan didn’t get to go the farm for his nephew’s birthday because Clare had a rehearsal for an amateur theatre show (he had helped her paint the set). As Clare said, “it’s all about compromise.” Then they had a fight about it. Clare yelled, “let’s move to the fucking farm right now” but I’m pretty sure she didn’t mean it. Lachlan repeated “actions speak louder than words” seven times in a row. And then he left, with his tiny suitcase and his big ute. Come on, guys. Work it out.

Next week…

The cliffhanger for next week is Michael turning to Roni and saying “I’m sorry, but I’m actually not…”. Fingers crossed that next week he finishes the sentence with “…a man” and the social experiment bumps up a notch.

The tally:

Number of times they said ‘social experiment’: 10

Couples fighting: 2

Couples looking happy: 2

James’ abs: 6

I’m concerned that it was never mentioned: WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THE THIRD PSYCHOLOGIST?

If you missed the last few episodes:

Married At First Sight episode 3. So many fights. So many flatpacks.

Married At First Sight Ep 2: morning after sex, the most awkward ceremony yet, and more…

Married at First Sight Ep 1: The six most awkward moments of Married at First Sight.