Dialogue! Plot! What is going on?

There’s a new frontrunner for the 2016 Oscars: Magic Mike XXL. The trailer came out today and it includes acting that would make Johnny Depp look like a failed drama student. You guys, we’re calling it early – Channing Tatum is the new Ben Affleck.

We’re not sure what is going on here, but it looks like the sequel to Tatum’s semi-autobiographical Magic Mike might actually involve some acting. And drama. And scripting. But we’re going to watch it anyway, because Channing Tatum’s abs do something to us we can’t quite explain.

Abs. Abs. Abs. F*ck the storyline.

Unless you are a fan of “film”, the trailer is two minutes of disappointment, with way too much plot for what is essentially soft-core pornography. The creators have tried to make Magic Mike into an adventure-thrilling love story which, let’s be honest, isn’t what anyone wants from this film.

PS. Here’s a gallery of what we actually want to see in this movie.

Magic Mike Gallery

Channing Tatum and Alex Pettyfer in Magic Mike

Magic Mike

Joe Manganiello

Matt Bomer

Channing Tatum and Matthew MaConaughey in Magic Mike

Joe Magnaniello via Instagram

Michael Strahan and Channing Tatum on the set of Magic Mike XXL

Joe Magnaniello via Instagram

Kevin Nash

Joe Manganiello

Magic Mike

Cast of Magic Mike

Matt Bomer

Just give us two hours of Channing Tatum and Joe Manganiello dancing partially naked. That’s not too much to ask, is it?

More on Channing Tatum:  What made Channing Tatum look this terrified on Ellen?

You can watch the trailer below.

Are you going to see Magic Mike XXL?