By ZOE LAWRENCE

I honestly spend about 98.6% of my time using some form of technology – my phone, laptop, iPad, Kindle – and still continue to be absolutely useless with almost all of it. I attract tech issues like pale-skinned people attract sunburn.

Here are some of the many tech fails I’ve suffered in the past…

1. Texting the wrong person.

Everyone has done this at some point or another and I’ve done it more than once. The funniest was probably when I texted my boss instead of my boyfriend. It was a really whiney text and I sounded like the high-maintenance girlfriend of the century. Luckily, my boss thought it was hilarious – and even thanked me for not sending her an accidental sext.

2. Emailing “reply all” instead of just one person.

This is especially awkward when it’s a particularly personal – or bitchy – reply. Hellloooo everyone’s inboxes. Urgh.

3. When you put someone on hold… only you don’t.

The other day, a colleague put someone on hold and bitched about them to another colleague. And then they got back on the phone – only to discover that the person had heard every word. This is the awkward moment to beat all awkward moments.

4. Programming your alarm clock for PM instead of AM.

“Sorry that I was late for work today. I am twenty-three and yet still have difficulty working out how to set an alarm on my phone.”

5. When you lend a friend your USB…

Only to remember that the USB has plenty of embarrassing things on there which they will now see. Including all the seasons of those TV shows that you don’t want to admit to watching and enjoying. (Am I the only person with a serious addiction to Say Yes To The Dress? Please say no…). This is not such a bad situation when it’s a good friend and they can just laugh at your terrible taste. But I did this with a friend who just handed the USB back to me with super-silent judgey eyes. Gah.

6. Autocorrect failing miserably.

Seriously – a winky face added to any text immediately makes it sound dirty. Doesn’t matter what the context of the rest of the message is. Even a simple “dinner is ready” with a winky face added is so very awkies.

My phone has autocorrected my smiley faces to winky faces so many times and it’s so incredibly awkward – especially when that text is going to a colleague. Or your mum.

I have another friend whose phone autocorrected “sorry” to “#sorrynotsorry”. Which was funny in some situations – but REALLY not funny in messages where she was trying to be genuinely apologetic…

7. Accidentally liking someone’s Instagram post from three years ago.

Because that’s how far you managed to stalk their profile back to. And now they’re going to get that notification. And know that you’ve been stalking them.

8. Accidentally friend-requesting your ex-boyfriend’s new-girlfriend.

WHY DO THEY MAKE THAT “ADD FRIEND” BUTTON SO EASY TO CLICK? Also, it should have an “are you sure” option, because at the moment… once it happens… there is no way of taking it back. No matter how fast you go to click that “cancel request” option.

9. Checking in to somewhere that you shouldn’t be.

The classic example of this is calling in sick to work… and then proceeding to check in at the beach or the park, only to be caught red-handed by your boss. I haven’t done this, but I did tell a friend that I was sick… only to later send them a Snapchat from the gym. Needless to say, they’re not really my friend anymore.

10. Not closing your internet tabs before someone else uses the computer.

I don’t even want to talk about some of the things I’ve Googled out of pure curiosity. And I especially don’t want to talk about the time that a male friend opened my computer to find “how long is too long to have a period” still open in one of my search tabs.

Not to mention these awkward and hilarious selfie fails …

Kim K being chased by an elephant after her selfie

Bar Refaeli taking a selfie before surgery, really?

"Aww my girlfriend caught me sleeping" we call selfie!

Danielle Lloyd, FYI sitting on the toilet probably isn't the best place to take a selfie

Kim K we don't really need to see your sunburn

Dude, you might want to put the fire out first

Nicole Richie trying to make a nasal mask look selfie sexy

Hillary Duff's baby doesn't look selfie ready

Awkward, just awkward

We're not sure about Justin Beiber's expression in this selfie

Amanda Bynes selfie, we think scary

Looks like this little girl want to escape the selfie chamber

Vanessa Hudgens fishing for likes in this selfie

Kev we think you've got something on your face

Awkward cat selfie

Kathy Griffin pretending to be passed out selfie

Kourtney K in a weird position

Cute dog selfie? We think not