Em Rusciano is a comedian, singer, writer and television and radio presenter. This is an edited extract from her book Try Hard: Tales from the Life of a Needy Overachiever.

To the brilliant Marchella and the magnificent Odette.

You may or may not know this, but since you were born I’ve had a rather morbid tradition of writing you each a letter before I go away in case something happens to me on said trip.

Since someone has been kind enough to let me write a book, I thought I could pop a letter in here to be preserved for all of time. So now you won’t have to rummage through my filing cabinet only to find food wrappers, old photos and library fines.

Em Rusciano speaks to discusses the secrets behind her book with Mia Freedman onNo Filter. Post continues after audio…

Hopefully now, when you find yourselves in a jam, you can flick open this very page and here I’ll be with some posthumous words of wisdom.

Know that I didn’t want to leave you, that my last thought would’ve been of the both of you.

You are the most impressive thing I’ve ever done, my greatest achievement, the loves of my life (besides your father, of course). Look after your dad. Was his shirt ironed at my funeral? Was I carried out to Kylie Minogue’s ‘Your Disco Needs You’ as instructed?

Even though I’m not physically there you both still carry me under your skin, in the shape of your eyes and the freckles across your noses. In your dry and slightly sick senses of humour, in your love of all things shiny and in your huge, hobbit toes.

There I’ll be, never far, always connected to you.

Be sassy, kind-hearted, fierce bitches. Pick great friends who contribute to your experience as a human. Ditch the drainers and the drama queens. You’ve so many better things to do than be tortured by unhappy people.

Don’t take shit from anyone, ever. I really mean that. Don’t be afraid to say NO. No is your friend. Don’t ever put the fear of offending someone in front of your own personal safety – emotional and physical.

Having said all that, say YES as often as you can! Yes to new experiences, yes to the unknown, YES TO LIFE.

Em Rusciano with husband Scott and daughter Marchella. Source: Instagram.

In summary: NO to the dickheads and YES to the legends!

Look after your body. Nourish it, water it and exercise it. If you do all that then you will never have to worry about the thin/fat/broken scenarios. Praise it, reward it, don’t ever view it as something less than. You two have such magnificent, strong bodies that can do so many impressive things.

Have the courage to tell each other the truth when one of you asks, ‘How are you?’ If the answer is ‘not great’ then say that. If you get that answer from your sister, then ask her, ‘How can I help?’

Start working on building a safe place inside of you, somewhere to retreat when the world becomes too loud.

A place to belong that feels like home, so that no matter where you are in the world you have that space. You’ll have to be kind to yourselves to be able to build this magical haven. This isn’t a strong point for the women in our family, but I’m confident you two can do it.

Em Rusciano speaks with Mia Freedman about her struggle with post-natal depression. Post continues after audio...

Don’t worry about getting married, that whole notion is a crock of shit.

Little girls are conditioned to believe that marriage is the end game, the final goal. It just isn’t, it is an option along the line should you choose it. I’ve been drilling that into you both since you were little girls but if I’m gone too soon, before the brainwashing is complete, highlight this section and reread it often.

Whomever you end up with, just make sure that they challenge you, admire you and respect you and want to be your friend as well as your lover. That last part can’t be too far one way or the other.

If you choose a life dedicated to food, travel and dogs then I’m sure that will be just as enriching as any other path.