The location changes and so does the food, but there’s one thing that stays the same at any dinner party: the people.

These are the six personality types you’ll find at every dinner party, and how each of them gets the conversation flowing. Or not.

1. The one-upper.

This person can barely wait for you to finish what you’re saying because he’s so eager to jump in with his story – which is, of course, way more exciting than yours. You went to LA? He went to LA, bumped into Vin Diesel, got invited back to his mansion and beat him in an arm wrestle. You used to do Little Athletics? He set a new record in the under-seven 100m, only it doesn’t stand as an official record because it was wind-assisted. Frequently turns out to be a pathological liar.

2. The flirt.

She just can’t help herself. Whether she’s actually interested in any of the men around the table or not, she ends up wrapping them all around her little finger. Her casual anecdotes get the men panting. There was the time she answered the door, naked except for a coat, because she thought it was her boyfriend, only it turned out to be a religious caller. Oh, and there was her stint as a life model, which she did purely because of her love of art.

3. The social changer.

Is a vegan, and tells the host he can’t eat the tofu stir-fry she has prepared specifically for him because it contains honey. Describes the miserable existence led by the chicken that everyone else is eating. Picks up on someone else’s joke about nuns and turns it into a rant against organised religion. Tries to convince everyone of the benefits of dumpster diving, giving up shampoo and using a lemon as deodorant. Fails.

“Is it free-range organic? I only eat free-range organic!”

4. The boofhead.

Usually there as somebody’s short-term boyfriend, the boofhead doesn’t have a lot to say. He wolfs down the entire plate of hors d’oeuvres before the host has a chance to say, “Help yourself.” He makes a joke about Robin Williams that has everyone muttering, “Too soon!” He snorts with laughter when someone mentions the philosopher Alain de Botton, because he thought they said “bottom”. Later on, in the middle of a conversation about paid parental leave, he contributes a little snore.

5. The cheerleader.

She is just so nice. She laughs at everyone’s jokes, even the boofhead’s. She listens to all your stories and says, “That’s brilliant!” at the right moment. She describes every bottle of wine as “amazing”, and praises the person who brought it along as if they stomped on the grapes with their own feet. She tells you she loves your decision to go naturally grey because it really suits you, even though the truth is you haven’t had time to get your roots touched up and were hoping no one would notice.

6. The pot-stirrer.

This person knows exactly how to press people’s buttons, and he keeps jabbing at them. He asks the social changer how he can eat vegetables when research has shown that plants have feelings. He asks the boofhead if he thinks rugby league is more homoerotic than AFL, but fortunately for him, the boofhead doesn’t know what the word “homoerotic” means. Usually goes home with a sore leg from his partner constantly kicking him under the table.

Good food, great wine and colourful conversations. They are the only three things that you need to make a dinner party truly memorable.

Have you had any dinner party fails over the years?

Planning a dinner party? Here are some healthy food ideas to inspire you…

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