I love sleeping.
If I could marry sleeping, I would. As long as I could curl up for a nap during the wedding ceremony.
But, for various pain-in-the-ass reasons, I’m looking to become a Morning Person.
Even better: A Morning EXERCISE Person.
Until now, my workouts have been saved for after work, or not at all. Except for a brief period in summer when I was all enthusiastic and jog-y, I’ve always preferred getting sweaty in the gym at night.
If that.
So to aid my mission, I asked Old Man Google. ‘How does one become a Morning Exercise Person, dear Google?’ I ventured, with my reading glasses perched on my nose and my head tilted at a quizzical angle.
And the advice was bullshit. Believe me. I tried it.
“Place your alarm clock across the room, so you have to get out of bed to turn it off.”
So I did. I got out of bed and turned off my alarm. And then I turned around, and GUESS WHAT? Do you know what was still on the other side of my room? My bed. Still warm, still delicious, still easy to climb back into and fall asleep without a single fuck given. So I did.
“Turn your alarm into a funky song that will get your adrenalin pumping.”
I tried waking up to what is indisputably the funkiest song in the history of mankind, Uptown Funk. And now I hate Bruno Mars. I hate him personally, with a vitriol so focussed and so strong that it scares me. It’s not his fault, he was just trying to fill his cup and put some liquor in it. I was the one who made him do it at 6.15 a.m on my bedside table.
Top Comments
It took me about a year of forced conditioning to become a morning person. I became a PT and had to wake up for clients. I never could get up that early for my own exercise but obviously when it was for someone else I had to!
Now I wake up at 5am with no problems. I go to bed early though as I definitely need at least 7hrs sleep but as long as I get at least that i'm ok.
On days when I sleep in I still wake at 5am but I have no trouble going back to sleep if its a weekend. Took me a long while to get to there I must admit!
6:15am is hardly early! I get up at 6:30 for work if I'm not working out lol (I start work at 9 and drive 25-30 mins to work!)
If I'm working out in the morning, I have the alarm set for 5:15. I generally find one morning I just have to push through it and be tired for the day, but that night I'm usually so tired by 9pm that I'm in bed earlier than usual, which makes it easier to get up at 5am for the workout the next morning!
Self righteous morning person, just remember when we might people rise up people like you will be hunted down and forced to stay up past midnight! We will get our revenge! And that will just be the start, we will start the day at lunch time and anyone seen rising before that time will be imprisoned (mandatory sentencing), and when you lot are all locked up, we will all play our loud music all night long! We will enforce mandatory contraception (babies and little tykes are all noisy in the morning.)
Rise up night people, but remember to hit that snooze alarm at least ten times!
LOL that was awesome!