In case you missed it, NASA has discovered evidence of liquid water on Mars. This is a big deal.
Until now, we earthlings were basically under the impression that the only planet with running water — a prerequisite for life as we know it — was our own.
It’s been a massive day for science and thankfully our favourite bow tie-wearing television astrophysicist, Dr Alan Duffy, was on call to explain the whole thing.
Here is his winning smile explaining on The Project this evening:
And here is his perfectly quaffed hair simultaneously explaining on ABC’s The Drum somehow:
I’m not sure how he managed to be in two places at once (he’s a master of science, duh) but I am certainly not complaining.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t hear what he was saying over the sound of his cheekbones, but I’m sure it was delivered with adorable Irishness and an unflappable enthusiasm for that wacky universe we so enjoy living in.
Dr Duffy has most likely returned to his supercomputer at Swinburne University to further unravel the mysteries of the Solar System, but while he is busy doing that, I wrote him this poem:
An ode to Dr Alan Duffy.
It was 2014 and I turned on my TV, I think I was hungover… the details escape me.
And there he was, so handsome, so lean, with a brain as big as [insert some science-y thing].
Dr Alan Duffy — that was his name — a mild-mannered scientist of TED Talks fame.
I ogled him, googled him, contacted my friends:
But none of them knew him, it was a dead end.
I reached out on Twitter, he never replied.
I was beginning to wonder — would the stars ever align?
He studied science, I studied the arts.
He comprehends dark matter, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO RHYME.
But we have things in common, dear Alan and I, he likes POSTDOCTORAL RESEARCH and I like his bowtie.
Today he reported water once flowed on Mars, I drank some water and I really like stars.
I also like Ireland. And puns. That’s a start?
Please Mr Alan, let me into your heart.
I think you’re engaged, I’m not all that fussed.
Just keep talking nerdy about the cosmos*.
I hope she is swell and I do beg her pardon… but here is a song for you by Savage Garden:
That’s pretty much it, I’m all out of time. Catch you on ABC Breakfast and, obvs, in my mind.
*Apologies, for this particularly horrific rhyme.