Sing if you know the words (or hum if you’re not a confident singer, or you’re in public): your lips are very chapped and dry*. So you put “something” on them. At this stage, it’s usually anything nearby, a gloss, a lipstick, whatever. Just something to coat them.
A little while on, and you’ve just closed a multi-million dollar deal/just finished straightening your hair/washed the mule, and you notice the dryness has not gone. Things are worse. So, you hunt down a “proper” lip balm. A Blistex, or Chapstick or paw paw ointment; whatever. Something that will supposedly nurture lips. But it still doesn’t help. An hour on you have visible flakes and you cannot, for the love of lip conditioning agents, get your lips un-dry.
To your shame, you have now started licking them in a poor and misguided attempt at nourishment, or at the very least, a few seconds of wet lippery. Horrible idea. And don’t even think about thinking about ripping off the flakes of dry skin with your teeth, you little terror. This is one of the all time Worst Ideas in the world, second only to sleeping with makeup on, and war. Your lips are incredible delicate, basically cheeks with a thin raincoat on, and you will make them bleed and a lot worse by ripping off the flakes.
And this was my postcode on Friday. My lips were cracked, and covered in thick, alluring flakes of dry skin. I knew why: 1) I have to stretch my lips to get my Invisalign in and out, which means they need extra TLC, which I had not given them, and 2) I applied foundation over my lips the other night to neutralise their colour before applying some almondy-nude lipstick. I DO THIS EVEN THOUGH I KNOW IT’S STUPID. Foundation will always dry your lips out excessively. Use lip primer instead, or a nude lip pencil.