real life

In news we wish didn't exist, a phone has been designed to store in your bum.

Looking to downsize your iPhone?

The world’s smallest mobile phone is the size of your finger and is also designed to fit snugly in your bum.

Why. Why, I hear you asking.

That is indeed the question. Why?

Well, the ‘Beat the Boss 3 in 1 J8’ mobile phone is apparently created with prisoners in mind. So it only follows that it should be the width of the average anal cavity.


Listen: Meshel Laurie speaks with former women’s prison inmate Kerry Tucker about the realities of life in prison, on Nitty Gritty Committee. Post continues after audio.

The pellet-shaped phone is available on Amazon for a the too-good-to-be-true price of $34.

The three-in-one bluetooth dialler, earphone and independent cellphone weighs 19 grams.

It’s composed 99.99% of plastic, meaning it can slip through prison metal detectors without raising the alarm.

And it comes with a free lanyard.

That’s right! A lanyard. For free!

Did we mention the lanyard is FREEEEEE. Image via Amazon.

Still not convinced?

Some VERY happy customers have left  reviews on the J8's Amazon page.

It's interesting reading to say the least.

'What more can you ask for than this ergonomic phone that fits snugly in your rectum?' Amazon UK user John Doe writes.

SimyJo says, 'You can see all your familiar faeces on the contacts page.'


Caption. via Amazon.

However, not all recipients of the tiny phone are satisfied with their purchase.

Amazon user pookey writes 'Unfortunately it seems extremely easy to accidentally butt dial your contacts... my mum was terribly confused and I had a lot of explaining to do.'

'Worst prostate massager ever'.

Next time you're off to prison, this might be the phone to go for.

You can buy, read reviews and learn more about the world's smallest phone, here.