Here’s how you survive your first week back at work without your baby.
It’s a Friday night and I sit here with a block of chocolate and a glass of wine.
I’m in my fat pants (you know the pair I mean).
I’ve been back at work for one week and I’m exhausted!!!
But don’t tell anyone, they will roll their eyes and scoff at me! Because I’m supposed to keep it all together, right? I’m supposed to be able to handle anything, I’m a mother after all. But I’ll be honest, my first week back was hard and not just because of work but because my little one entered childcare. Here’s what my week look liked…
On Monday, I left my baby in the care of a complete stranger for the very first time and went to work and tried not to cry. I knew that if I thought about him that would be the end of me. So I decided to bury my head in my work.
That idea worked well on the short walk from childcare to the office however as soon as I walked out of the lifts on my floor, every single person asked if I was okay. I’m not joking… it was everyone! So I spent several minutes in the toilet cubical gathering ‘composure’ before applying bright red lippy and pretending I was ‘fine’.
The one person who knew exactly what to say had just returned to work from maternity leave herself. “Wanna talk about it?” she asked? “No,” I replied and we changed subjects.
At 10am I called the centre. He was sleeping, sound asleep.
The day was long…very long. I counted the hours from morning tea, the minutes from lunch time, and the seconds from afternoon tea. Everyone wanted to talk about my bub, which was sweet, but hard. Wasn’t given any work to do. I suppose that was a good thing.
At the end of the day I raced to the childcare centre and wrapped my arms around my little man. He gave me a big cuddle – he appeared to enjoy his day. But I didn’t…I missed him.
Day off! Spent the day with my beautiful bubby – we played, cuddled and just enjoyed the day we had together. Did the groceries – that sucked!
Wednesday was worse than Monday. Bubby cried before we left the house.
It broke my heart.
He was fine when we got to the centre though so I slipped out unnoticed.
But it still broke my heart.
I called at 11am today. Bub was fine, he had a good morning tea and a little nap. My day was long. I was given work to do. Didn’t help though, I missed him more this day.
At the end of the day I again raced back to childcare. But today he didn’t come to me. He saw me at the door – his mummy with a big smile and out stretched arms – but he turned his back to his toys. He was busy you see, much too busy to play with mummy. Another broken heart. I arrived home with bub feeling less of a mum than I did when I left this morning.
Second day off for the week. Spent the day doing chores, blogging and yes you guessed it, lots of cuddles. Bub was particularly clingy today, separation anxiety I suspect. Wanted to be all over me all the time. This just meant chores took a lot longer today. That’s okay though, he was more important.