real life

Why do some people think this isn't rape?

I currently live in a share house in London with 5 other men (boys?) in their mid-20s.

Every evening they can be found either:

a.     Watching soccer.

b.     Playing Xbox.

c.      Talking about soccer.

d.     Eating take away.

e.     A combination of b,c and d.

This house is equal parts crazy and marvelous – but I diverge!

On Friday, I came home to an extremely raucous poker party. There were cards and chips and testosterone flying everywhere. The music was up and the beer was flowing. I grabbed one and joined the girls on the couch. Nice.

Between poker hands, the ad came on.

It literally brought the party to a standstill and then tore it in two. I believe the comment was, “Oh come on! It’s 20 per cent the girl’s fault.” At first, I thought it was a (sick) joke. But he went on… “Leading a guy into a bedroom can only mean one thing.” One of the young women sitting beside me partly agreed, “It’s definitely rape, but that girl shouldn’t be so naïve.”

Oh man. You should have seen the reaction. This guy was absolutely shut down by the girls and guys at the party:

“That is ridiculous man.”

“No means no. No. Matter. What.”

“It’s black and white. If she says no, it’s rape.”

“It is entirely his fault, it’s completely unacceptable…” etc etc etc

I was mostly proud for the sisterhood. I was also appalled that the comment was made in the first place.

But the fact that this one ad triggered such a heated debate in such an unexpected setting felt like a victory. And it made me wonder why such a persuasive ad isn’t being shown in Australia and across the globe for that matter…

Steph is a 25 year old television news producer/journalist from Sydney, currently freelancing in London and exploring Europe. She tweets at @StephBoulet

Please note if this post or any of the comments bring up any issues for you, or if you need to speak to someone please call the NSW Rape Crisis Centre on 1800 424 017.  It does not matter where about you live in Australia, they will take your call and, if need be, refer you to a service closer to home.

Do you think the ad is effective? Would you like to see it aired in Australia?