In my family it’s normal to pierce a baby’s ears from around three months, but my husband is horrified at the thought. Another dilemma for the iVillage community.
I’ve had pierced ears since I was three months of age. In my Italian family it’s the done thing. Now that my daughter is three-months-old I want to pierce her ears so she can wear the little gold sleepers I have been saving for her. I have photos of me wearing them as a baby and can’t wait to see how they look on her.
When my husband asked us what we were doing that day I casually mentioned that we were going to the shops and I was having her ears pierced. He looked at me in horror. “Don’t you dare pierce her ears”, he said.
“Why not?” I thought he might be joking, but he wasn’t. It never occurred to me that some people might think piercing a baby’s ears is cruel. He said, “Why would you cause our daughter unnecessary pain? I absolutely forbid it.”
Well, when you put it that way. The thing is my husband is pretty chilled when it comes to parenting decisions.
This is the first time he's been shocked at something I've wanted to do and actually forbid it. In fact, I can't recall his ever having used the word forbid in the ten years I have known him.
My mum thinks he's being silly and she offered to get it done for me and just pretend she didn't know he wasn't happy about it. I advised her not to. "He feel really strongly about this Mum. We'd better not." Tempting though.
But I still want to do it. It's been a dream of mine to pierce my daughter's ears at the same age I had mine done. All the little girls in my family have pierced ears and we figure it's better to do it early when they can easily forget the pain than when they are older and it will end up hurting them more.
My best friend suggested I wait until my daughter is old enough to at least consent to having her ears pierced. She gave in to her daughter's requests for pierced ears at the age of eight. But that's ages away. It's probably going to sound stupid, but I feel like a dream has died and I am a bit disappointed.
Now I'm wondering why I've attached such meaning to piercing my daughter's ears. Is it truly for nostalgic reasons? Am I treating her like a dress up doll? Or, is ear piercing a harmless practice that is best to get out of the way young, because I know she'll eventually want to get her ears pierced?
Is it normal that I want to pierce my three-month-old daughter's ears?