Everybody knows that you have the best ideas when you’re ridiculously drunk. There’s a crucial point, after a few wines, when the confusing fog over your life fades away, and you’re filled an undeniable sense of clarity. You’ve GOT THIS. You understand things now! You are so talented/profound/interesting!
Of course, that blinding moment of brilliance is ever so fleeting, and it’s not long before the crying starts and it’s important you have a nice little nap on the shoulder of whoever you happen to be standing next to.
The other day in the office, we got to talking about the weird things we think about ourselves when we’re drunk. The answers were so varied and hilarious that we decided to reach out to women everywhere and crowdsource some responses.
There were so many good ones we had to include them all.
So here’s what 27 women think when they’re drunk. Don’t try to deny you relate to at least one thing on the list…
1. When I’m drunk I think I’m a better dancer than Beyonce.
2. When I’m drunk I always think I need more lipstick. I don’t.
3. When I’m drunk I think I’m convinced I can tell really incredible, captivating stories.
4. When I’m drunk I buy everybody drinks like money means nothing.
5. When I’m drunk I have no concept of other people’s personal space.
6. When I’m drunk I’m convinced I’m in a sound bubble and that nobody can hear me no matter how loud I speak. I’ve offended a lot of people.
7. When I’m drunk, for some reason, I always seem to think I don’t need shoes.
8. When I’m drunk I swear graphically every second word and think it’s really endearing. It’s not.
9. When I’m drunk I think I have a secret sexy way of communicating with men.
10. When I’m drunk I think I’m the most attractive person in the world. And the drunker I get the more attractive I become.
11. When I’m drunk I think I could be best friends with every stranger I meet on the street. And I usually tell them so.