fitness

32 thoughts every woman has had during a spin class.

Of all the classes you can take at the gym, spin is probably the most straightforward. You don’t have to learn any fancy steps — you just have to climb aboard a stationary bicycle and rotate those wheels until your instructor tells you to stop.

But don’t be fooled by the simplicity — spin class is a sweaty, full-on workout, and that’s just the physical side of things.

Here are 32 thoughts every woman has during RPM.

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1. “Shit… are these gym clothes actually clean? I don’t remember actually washing them… all good, I’ll just sit up the back so nobody notices.”

2. “Oh damnit, those women beat me to the back row again. Maybe the second las… okay, nope. Front row it is. Fantastic.”

Shake it.

 

3. "Well, lucky my bum looks so good in these leggings because it's going to be riiiight up there in everyone's face."

4. "It's 6am... why is my instructor so perky? And how? Is he on something? Whatever it is, I want it."

5. "Oh my God, we're only three minutes in. I honestly thought it had been 20. How am I possibly sweating so much?"

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6. "Is everyone else sweating this much? Do I smell?"

7. Seriously? That was just the warm-up? Oh, fuck." (Post continues after gallery.)

8. "Um, is my vagina supposed to hurt?"

9. "I wonder if it hurts for guys too. Actually, what do guys do with their balls during spin? How does that work?"

10. "YESSSSS. This is my SONG!"

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11. "How is my instructor even talking right now? I can hardly breathe."

12. "Argh, noooo, I have a wedgie... Shit. Have the people behind me noticed? When is a good time to pick it out? Do I just leave it?"

That face when you realise everyone saw you pick that wedgie.

 

13. "Turn up the intensity on the bike... again? Is he kidding?"

14. "Ha! Totally just got away with pretending to turn the knob up. In your face, instructor."

15. "Actually. I think she knows. She just looked at me like she knows. I'm done for. It's over for me."

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16. "The woman next to me literally has not shed a molecule of sweat yet. She must be a cyborg."

17. "Okay, this is really starting to hurt. Will anyone notice if I just... leave?"

18. "I wonder if the instructor planned it so 'Booty' by JLo would be playing at the exact moment our bums are up off the seat. Does anyone else finds this weirdly sexual...?"

19. "Hmm. Just made eye contact with the instructor, and I'm pretty sure my bum was thrusting up and down when it happened."

20. "Are there any calories left in my body? I'm pretty sure I've burned off everything I've ever eaten."

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21. "Oh God please don't make me climb. Don't do this to me. PLEASE."

22. "My thighs are actually on fire. Um, Lycra is flammable, right? What if I actually catch fire? Could I sue the gym?"

"Hmm, I kind of regret my outfit choice..."

 

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23. "Hey, God? Are you there? I know we don't speak that often, but right now I need you..."

24. "Wow, I usually hate techno music but this is actually the only reason I'm still going."

25. "Interesting. I didn't even realise I had muscles in that part of my leg."

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26. "I can't believe this sadist has the nerve to ask how we're feeling right now. Honestly? I feel like I'm dying. How do you like that?"

27. "Hopefully nobody heard that grunting noise I just made. That was weird. I don't know what happened there." (Post continues after video.)

28. "Hmm, is that sweat... in my crotch? Wow. Yes, yes it is. I have actually sweated through my undies."

29. "Just two more minutes... okay, no, stopping now. Right now."

30. "Wait — it's over? You mean to tell me I survived all that? Or did I die during one of those hill climbs and this is my afterlife?"

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31. "Do not fall off your bike. Do not fall off your bike. Just disembark like a normal person."

32. "Remind me... how do I use my legs?"

What are you thinking during a spin class?