A few months ago, I had a "mummy makeover".
That’s the cutesy name given to a not at all minor operation where I was quite literally cut in half, had 60 stitches down the muscles of my abdominal wall, a huge section of loose, stretch-marked skin removed from my lower abdomen requiring an excision from hip to hip, and a breast reduction that both repositioned my nipples and removed excess skin and breast tissue leaving me with a very tidy C cup.
You would think that all the cutting and suturing would be quite painful, and I’m sure it was. But it paled in comparison to the pain of the abdominal muscle repair. That part was to fix a two-centimetre separation in my abdominal wall caused by pregnancy.
With that gaping chasm in my mid-section, I had no hope of ever doing a sit up again, and a lovely umbilical hernia to top it off.
That is all to say that as well as having obvious cosmetic benefits, the procedure also has functional benefits that will help me live life more fully, and with less neck and back pain, both of which I suffer from chronically.
Psst: Here are some things mums never say. Story continues after video.
Now, back to the bit where I tell you just how uncomfortable the recovery was.