"My daughter just gave me an end-of-year report card."

“Next year I think she could improve.”

So says my six-year-old in her parenting report card. Apparently my parenting leaves something to be desired, if you ask my six-year-old daughter Matilda.

I host a parenting podcast with children’s author and TV presenter Andrew Daddo, and each week we do a segment called Nailed and Failed where we rate our parenting for the week. But on the latest episode, we decided to hand over to our kids to do the honours.

And it was BRUTAL.

Of all the things I did this year – Worked too much, took her to Europe, countless mornings in bed talking about the world, made hundreds of school lunches, ploughed through countless Readers, threw her a birthday party, forgot it was Book Week – all she really cared about where the packets of salt and vinegar chips I did or didn’t buy her on Friday nights at the local “Bowlo”.

“Once, when all my friends got a chip packet, I didn’t get a chip packet,” she says, the hurt apparent in her (adorable) voice.

Ouch.

But at least I got props for being an okay dancer. Just don’t do it anywhere near her in front of her friends.

She threw me a bone for being good at my job.

“I’m really proud of her when she does big speeches at work,” she said. Speeches? Okay, speeches.

But for all of that, what really counts is the grade. And how did I do? I got a B. That’s it.

I think I was ripped off, Andrew Daddo’s 12-year-old daughter Jasper gave him an A.

And he doesn’t even take his kids to the Bowlo.

Listen to the full episode of This Glorious Mess here:

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