Anti-depressants ruined Crista’s ability to orgasm. Now she’s on a quest to reclaim it.

Crista Ann has been grappling with chronic depression for as long as she can remember.

At just 7 years of age, she attempted to take her own life. The following year she started taking Prozac.

The now 32-year-old mum of four recently went back on medication, after having gone without it since her late teens because she wasn’t covered by health insurance.

The mental health benefits of her current anti-depressant changed her life – Crista told the Philadelphia City Paper that she “actually enjoy[s] being alive” for the first time in memory.

However, they came with a serious downside. For the first time in her life, Crista was unable to orgasm.

So… Science just proved the vaginal orgasm doesn’t exist.

“My high sex drive and orgasmic superpower have been the most dependable parts of my identity,” the sex blogger explained on her website back in December. “Usually when a medication says “some sexual side effects” that always means that I become hyper sexual and even more orgasmic. Until now.”

Happily, Crista’s ability to climax with a partner returned, although she reports her orgasms are less intense and “universe creating” than they previously were. Now, she’s on a quest to reclaim her solo orgasms.

“Pleasure is vital to my mental health. Orgasms are vital to my mental health. Masturbation gives me life,” Crista wrote.

“I love how much better I feel with medication, but I do not accept that I have to sacrifice my orgasm to experience less of the darkness of depression.”

For the past month Crista has been chronicling the highs and lows of her #OrgasmQuest on her website and Twitter. A number of sex toy companies have been helping out along the way, sending her various aids and “magic wands” for assistance.

Crista’s updates have been both honest and relatable.

“Put wee monsters to bed 45 minutes ago. Every time I pick up the Magic wand for #OrgasmQuest time, one opens the door. #sigh,” she wrote last week.

Would you put a picture of your orgasm face on the internet? Meet 20 people who did.

Crista’s story has been gaining significant media attention in recent weeks, and she says the response from her followers and readers has been largely positive.

Regardless, Crista hopes this experience might inspire other people in her position to share their stories and open up a conversation.

“I want to shine light on these experiences; tell the world that talking about sexuality, mental illness, side effects of medication and how all of those things impact a person’s life is a valid and worthy discussion,” she told Buzzfeed News.

This post originally appeared on the Glow. You can follow Crista’s quest on her website here and on Twitter here.