By ROSIE WATERLAND
You may remember a post I wrote a couple of months back detailing the various products you simply MUST be using if you have a vagina. It was called “Got a vagina? You’re doing it wrong.”
It basically outlined the must-have products for vagina owners (because everyone knows that vajayjays be gross and need a LOT of fixing), from Crotch Sweat Liners to Vagina Bleach.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Rosie! Please! There wasn’t enough crap on that list to keep me going! Tell me more about how I’m not looking after my lady-parts properly and what crazy products I should be spending my money on!”
I’m here to help, you guys.
Did I think I would write not one, but two articles about crazy vagina products in my life? No. No, I didn’t. But I’m a serious journalist and when the world decides it needs more products to improve women’s lady-gardens, it’s my job to document it.
So, without further ado, here is Part 2 of Got a Vagina? You’re doing it wrong. (Or, “advertisers have realised they can make heaps of money by convincing women their vaginas are gross.”)
1. Vagina Dye
If you are walking around with a vulva that isn’t a colour named Ginger, Marilyn, Bettie or Audrey, you are doing it wrong.
My New Pink Button “is a temporary dye to restore the youthful pink color back to your labia.” Because HOW DARE YOUR VAGINA NOT BE A YOUTHFUL COLOUR.
So, who needs vagina dye? A lot of people apparently. The line is sold out:
I’m not exactly sure how it works, but this picture indicates that you apply the dye to your box not unlike you would apply shadow to your eyes: