fashion

Dear fashion designers, are you feeling OK?

Dear fashion designers,

Are you feeling okay? Is the lack of sleep that comes with late nights spent thinking up new creations taking its toll? Is the stress and pressure of having to come up with The. Next. Big. Thing. getting to you?

Because we’ve noticed some things that, frankly, have us questioning your grasp on reality.

We wonder if maybe you’ve been spending a little too much time around nothing but scissors, sewing machines and rolls of material. Maybe ideas that at first you, quite rightly, thought were ridiculous have started to look good after hours spent staring at a blank drawing pad.

Listen: Advice from another extremely helpful fashion study.

How else do you explain sending women down the runway with bags on their heads, doonas as their clothes and carrying toilet rolls as purses?

Let’s start with arguably the most confusing look. Models in Wednesday’s Maison Margiela show walked the catwalk with the designer’s bags styled as headpieces at Paris Fashion Week.

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Maison Margiela, your avant-garde concept has us baffled. Is this what you think women will actually do – a trend that will soon be seen everywhere? Do you think women are so sick of carrying heavy bags that they’ll wear them on their heads instead?

Mulberry’s show the week before saw models wearing what can best be described as Doona-ponchos. That too had us scratching our heads. Then we saw Moschino debut toilet rolls as bags at Milan Fashion Week.

Just… what?

The Snuggie's upper-class cousin. (Image via Getty.)
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We know that we - the everyday women, who shop at department stores and wear our clothes to such boring places as offices and, you know, outside - are not meant to get High Fashion. We, who can't confidently pronounce haute couture, let alone afford it, are not your target audience.

But surely you want us wishing we wouldn't have to sell our cars and re-mortgage our homes to buy one of your creations - not wondering if you were running a high fever when you thought it up?

While we're grateful for you bringing the '90s back and are open to learning new ways to wear our favourite accessories, we don't think you've quite nailed this one.

If it would be helpful for future reference, we can tell you what other fashion accessories and objects we are unlikely to ever want to put on top of our hair or wear as a coat. Shoes, cutlery, bowls, animals, food, pot plants, boxes. The list goes on really.

Whatever it is that's lead to your recent ideas, we really hope you get the help you need, so you can get back to designing clothes people might actually want to wear.

Yours sincerely,

Women.