'My wedding got postponed 5 times. Here's what it's taught me.'

I can finally call my fiancé, my husband. 

For most women, this is a rite of passage after getting married. However, for me this transition is monumental (emphasis on the mental!)

After five wedding postponements and four years of wedding planning, I can proudly look my husband in the eye and say, we made it.

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Now, when I say, ‘we made it’, I don’t mean that in the let’s hold hands and do a triumphant arm raise like we have just won the mixed doubles at the Australian Open sense, I mean, we actually made it, and no one is on a ventilator, and no one is dead. 

As macabre as that may seem, planning a wedding amidst a global pandemic has taught me to consider life as a series of small wins that cannot be taken for granted.

I have adopted what I fondly refer to as the ‘pandemic gratitude attitude’. A frame of mind that aligns with my spirituality and has enabled me to continuously search for silver linings over the last two years - even if it did mean that I had to reschedule my wedding five times. 

In my humble opinion, the pandemic has forced us to rethink what it means to be a human being on this journey we call life.  

It has reminded us that no man is an island. We are each a product, an embodiment, of the love, prayers, blessings, and teachings of the tribe that raised us. We are all interconnected via the beautiful and oftentimes prickly, web of human experience. 

And whilst we cannot always choose the experiences that we go through, we can choose the meaning that we attach to them. 

Our Day. Image: Lovers Narrative.

If you ask me, the pandemic has served as a great equaliser - it does not discriminate. No one is immune, exempt, above or unworthy of contracting Coronavirus, as unlike people, it is without opinion, prejudice, or judgement. 

I met my husband almost 10 years ago through a mutual friend. 

What began as a seemingly innocuous friendship, quickly grew into a relationship based on honesty, trust, mutual respect, and a deep and unwavering love of food. 

Our Day. Image: Lovers Narrative.

Dominique and I were engaged in my birth country, South Africa, in 2018. What followed, was some pretty intense research into wedding venues, photographers, videographers, graphic designers, cake designers, event hire companies, florists, weather patterns and multiple calls to the Australian Bureau of Meteorology about what the weather might be like on the day.

By 2018 we had decided upon a vision for our wedding. We would have both a Catholic and a Hindu wedding ceremony plus a reception, to pay homage to Dominique’s Mauritian heritage, my South African-Indian heritage, as well as both of our religions. 

By 2019, Dominique and I had picked our wedding dates and engaged our suppliers. 

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By the start of 2020, we had inaugurated our bridal party, begun designing our wedding outfits, cake tasted, entrée tasted, shoe fitted, waist-to-bust measured and so and so forth. It’s safe to say that we were swept up by the excitement and whimsical romance that planning a wedding brings. 

However, little did we know, in two months’ time, no contingency plan would account for what was to come. 

Our Day. Image: Lovers Narrative.

In March 2020, the pandemic hit in full swing. By March 11, The World Health Organisation had declared the coronavirus outbreak a pandemic. A week later, Australian borders were closed to all non-residents, and returning residents were required to spend two weeks in supervised hotel quarantine. 

If I close my eyes and squint really hard, I can still remember the very afternoon that my colleagues and I were told to pack up our coffee mugs, clear out our Friday afternoon chocolate draw and decide who would take the marketing and communications team’s celebratory chicken home, indefinitely. 

The advice was loud and frighteningly clear – you will be working from home for the foreseeable future. Take good care of yourself and your family (and find an ergonomic home office chair with good back support!).

Victoria’s first lockdown was implemented on 31 March, 2020. Whilst the concept of staying at home indefinitely seemed jarring at first, I soon realised that by changing the way that I looked at things, the things I looked at, changed. 

I re-framed my perception of the pandemic and welcomed the prospect of having more time in my life. I made grand plans to start each day with a session of morning flow yoga donning my stretchy Lululemon tights and my hair in a topknot, followed, of course, by a homemade acai bowl and cold pressed green juice and NOT my usual McMuffin with three sachets of butter and two hash browns (nervous laugh).  

The days seemed longer in lockdown. Much like a Cheshire cat awaking from a deep sleep and stretching its limbs, it became apparent very quickly, that I, much like many others, had awakened from the slumber that was the nine-to-five rat race.

By May 2020, Dominique and I realised that there was a big question mark hanging over our wedding. We asked ourselves: 

Where does a wedding fit in the grand scheme of things when people are losing their lives each day? 

What is our intention behind getting married? If we are focused on investing in our long-term marriage, rather than just the wedding days, what harm is there in waiting?

How will our guests receive a wedding invitation in the current climate? Will they think us insensitive and out of touch? 

What about our family and friends who are frontline workers? Will they think we are taking their sacrifices for granted by organising an event that could spread the virus? 

After meditating on the above, Dominique and I together with our families, decided that the best decision was to postpone our wedding, proactively. We made calm and level-headed calls to our suppliers and decided upon new dates in March 2021. 

A month before our March wedding dates, Victoria was amidst lockdown number three. We made the tough decision to postpone our wedding. This time, until June 2021. 

Our Day. Image: Lovers Narrative.

By then, we were still in lockdown. We knew the drill – I would call all 1,656 suppliers, whilst Dominique contacted each of our guests to notify them of yet another event postponement. 

Many around us asked Dominique and I why we didn’t just throw in the towel and waltz on down to the Victorian Marriage Registry. Our response: ‘Some things are worth waiting for’. 

We quickly decided upon new dates – October 9 and 10, 2021. This was going to be it, surely fourth time lucky would do the trick?! Well, come Saturday 4 September, one month shy of our new dates, Victoria was still in lockdown. So, back to the drawing board it was. 

January 22 and 23, 2022: we told ourselves that those were going to be our final dates. Those words were hardly out of our mouths when the Omicron variant was discovered and threatened to be our undoing. 

Our Day. Image: Lovers Narrative.

All we could do was trust, be patient and wait. 

And it finally happened. 22 January approached with no lockdown in sight and the Universe conspired to make our four-year dream a reality (cue fireworks).  

For two days, Dominique and my hearts exploded with love, gratitude, and sheer disbelief that we were finally living in that millisecond, that second, that minute, that moment. We had reached our destination. And my, what a journey it had been. We could lay our weary heads to rest, knowing that we had finally made it! 

They say you should surround yourself with people whose eyes light up when they see you. Well, that’s exactly what our wedding day was when it finally came around - a fireball of twinkling eyes, bright smiles and oodles of pure, unadulterated love with enough gusto to self-power a whole new breed of pyrotechnics!

When I reflect upon the last two years, what I have learned from planning a wedding amidst a global pandemic, is that slowly is the fastest way to get where you want to be.

Our Day. Image: Lovers Narrative.

Contrary to the belief of my former self, I now know that patience is not some holier-than-thou virtue that lives way out in the cosmos, far beyond our grasp. Being patient is attainable. It is a choice that we all have the power to make. It is a conscious decision to choose faith over fear each and every day.  

The pandemic has taught me about the importance of gratitude, acceptance, resilience, and trust.

From where I stand now as a (finally) married woman, I can see that the top of one mountain is the bottom of the next. So, no matter what happens, pandemic or otherwise, keep climbing.

Feature Image: Lovers Narrative.