Most weddings have some form of dress code, but one bride has taken her instructions of her guests’ attire to the extreme with a list of ridiculous requests.
The unnamed American bride, whose Facebook post has been shared in the Mamamia Outlouders Facebook group, has specified the guests commit to wearing not one, but two very specific outfits to her wedding in Hawaii next year.
And the first outfit requirements are set according to weight. Yes. The bride has asked her guests to wear a different outfit depending on how much they weigh.
These outfits are to be worn during a choreographed dance routine – which she also (no doubt) expects her guests to learn and rehearse for.
“The dress code is very specific because it will be used to create an incredible visual effect,” the woman wrote.
“If done right, it will make our synchronised dancing along the beach really pop.”
So what will guests be wearing? Well, if they’re women under 71kg it’s a green velvet sweater, orange suede pants, a Burberry scarf and – wait for it – “Loubotin” heels.
We think she means Louboutin, as she refers to the “amazing effect” the red heels will have. The shoes alone will cost guests at least $1000. Burberry classic light brown chequered scarves also retail for about $700.
If the bride hasn’t specified your outfit colour already, can you wear white?
But if you weigh more than 72kg you get to wear black jumpers, pants and heels, to Hawaii, where it’s basically always summer.
Men similarly are classified into weight – this time those under 90kg need to somehow track down a fuzzy purple jacket and WHAT THE HELL? They’ll need to pair it with white sneakers and something called a “soda hat”. There’s an obvious omission there because she hasn’t specified their pant colour – unless going bottomless is part of the costume?
Men weighing more than 90kg need to dress in camo and black sneakers.
Kids (of all weights), meanwhile, need to wear red – but “not blood orange or some bulls***!”.
“It needs to be true red.”
The guests can’t wear the brightly-hued or background-blending to the wedding though. (Which is probably a good thing since they’ll be soaked through with sweat after a dance routine in what will probably be 25-degree plus weather.)
No, they have to wear “formal attire”… that costs at least US$1,000.
“Remember the venue is extremely upscale and we want to be looking our absolute BEST ladies and gents,” she wrote.
“Please, if you look like trash, so will we.”
Bizarrely using the phrase "all jokes aside" (at what point did anyone think she was joking?) she said, "we want you to invest in an outfit valued at at least $1,000".
"This includes jewellery, accessories, makeup and hair. Remember ladies and gents, this wedding is 24k themed for a reason."
The bride appears to think that because she's given her guests 18 months to sort out their outfits, this shouldn't be a problem.
"You have a year and a half to get working. No excuses!"
According to the Daily Mail, group members were baffled and suggested that the guests should ask for their outfit costs to be reimbursed because they probably won't wear them ever again.
Others suggested the post was a hoax - and honestly, we thought so too - but guests invited to the wedding have claimed it's all true.
Let's hope they bless us with an update after the wedding.