Watch Mia on The 7pm Project

So much more happens to young people who end up in nursing homes due to their brain injury.

My cousin, who's since passed away, had a mid-operation "accident" (attributed years later through the court) due to the malpractice of the anesthetist. She was pronounced "brain dead" from the effects of 3 heart attacks in the space of an hour. By this, the neurologists concluded (actually, for many years later, they continuously, arrogantly, unflinchingly concluded) that there were no brain-waves in my cousins matter. Yet uncannily, once they took her off the initial heart and lung support she was on, her heart and lungs continued to function...... yet she was still pronounced as being in a "catatonic coma" - without brain waves.
At this stage (being the moot point in "The System"), she was technically "surviving" on her own, even though she was still without any registered brain-wave activity. So "The System" stated she had to be released from hospital.
What to do with a 42yo brain-injured woman? (through no fault of her own), but to release her into the care of her elderly 71yo mother (my Aunt, a single mother for decades by this stage - and this was her sole child) or put her in a nursing home.
Given the extensiveness of her injury and the physical impracticalities such as zero mobility, retracting of her body and limbs (so very similar to the footage above), my cousin was "accepted" into a nursing home - wherever a bed could be found. This would mean that my Aunt, who'd bore her own tragically difficult, excruciatingly sad life-story, was means tested, and her meagre pension would be deducted as a result.
In reality, the Nursing Home system could provide more practical assistance (for bathing, physio, bed-turning etc) than my emotionally-strong, yet so very physically-frail elderly aunt could or would have ever been able to provide for in a practical sense. But the nursing homes for the elderly cannot always provide safety for a young immobile person.

Needless to say, my Aunt spent EVERY DAY for 5 or so years (in total) from 8am to 5 or 6pm at my cousins bedside or in her company while physio was being administered. She caught the bus there and back, just to feed her, assist with her bathing, talk and read to her. To love her as much if not more than the day she was born. To be that loving, caring, doting mum to her physically debilitated, never-to-function-again, only child.
Initially, the Nursing home bed was the right thing - this was in the early 2000's after all, prior to YoungCare.
But the elderly have differing illnesses (albeit some of them are brain-function illnesses, such as Dementia and Alzheimers), yet differing symptoms, and differing needs (which is likely why YoungCare resulted).
That became blatantly evident as my cousins physical and emotional care, her physical and emotional safety, and her physical and emotional wellbeing were compromised. On EVERY level they were compromised.
Early 2000 (from memory) the Federal Government opened a live-in facility in Canberra (a city my cousin was already in) especially dedicated to brain-injury in the "young" - That is, those under the age of 50. She was one of (from memory) 6 or 8 residents who were offered a place in a special purpose-built facility, funded by the Federal Government, for those specifically with brain injury.
Of course, as with all nursing homes, the level of care and involvement of the staff varies - some are truly dedicated and real angels, in every sense of the word, to be doing what they're doing, for so long each and every day, for so little reward, recognition, encouragement. I know I couldn't do this - just from seeing my cousin's and my Aunt's emotional and physical demise throughout this lengthy linear experience (yes, later, there was characteristic emotional resonance by my cousin - and physical proof of her emotional knowledge of her injury, albeit they - the (by this stage) "fraternity" of medical specialists and their machines - still denied my cousins brain functionality and therefore dismissed her emotional "behaviour" as purely involuntary, and thereby dismissed what we, her family, already knew: that she was aware and was trapped inside......

That it was so daunting, so terribly saddening when I did go to visit my cousin and aunt, is an understatement and yet I can only but begin to imagine what it was like for my Aunt, being in her shoes, each and every day, for over 5+something years. And I certainly don't know where some of the staff get the strength to go in each and every day to bring what they do to their job (those that do have some special magic in their hearts - and there are plenty of others there who appear to have no humanism or ability as well - but I wont taint this post further with tales of my disregard for those who may be qualified, in a practical sense, yet are un-qualified in any form of empathic human sensibility).

Nonetheless, it is now well over half a decade since my cousin passed, yet if it weren't for that Federally-funded brain-injury facility, I know my Beautiful, Kind, Nurturing, Instinctive, Soulful, Courageous Aunt just wouldn't be here today. These facilities not only help the patients - those inflicted with such debilitating injury (physical and emotional - on every level), but they also help the families and loved ones cope with, and adapt to, the practical and emotional meanings and ramifications of such tragic experiences.

This personal experience made my whole family reconcile many of our individual beliefs - even moreso for some, as my mother, who came from a western medical/scientific background, had such stoic ideological beliefs about "prolonging life". Then there was the rarely discussed subject as to "at what emotional expense" this has both on the infirmed and their loved ones. And of course, the unspoken of all subjects, euthanasia - which I deeply, truly, strongly believe there's an ongoing need for a broader national debate...... I'm a huge advocate after such a trying decade for all concerned.

Anyway, my two-pence worth turned (yet again) into two chapters worth, but I am delighted to see that YoungCare is well and truly happening now across the country after what my cousin and my Aunt went through. We need to question the gaps more - and I'm glad Mia that you didn't chop this piece into a two minute grab about the Federal Government's Healthy Body Image only, and that you left the extra 5 or 6 mins in there showing us some equally productive and humanity-based funding going on in the Health and Care sector.

Thank you for sharing your cousin's story with us. I feel humbled to have read it.

Thanks for being so compassionate Lana. Tis because of you ladies and Mia's site that I feel comfortable sharing it here, for what it's worth, with fellow Real Lifers.
Have a great week!