Sex – once almost exclusively reserved for married couples – is now, for the most part, seen as an essential part of the life partner decision-making process.
So what about those couples who in the 21st century, are still waiting until their wedding night to have sex for the first time? What’s it like to remain a virgin until marriage?
Well, according to those who replied to a juicy Reddit thread asking the same question, it can be good, it can be bad and it can be just plain awkward.
‘We didn’t quite make it… and then we made up for lost time.’
Hansvanhengel explained that he and his ex-girlfriend had “practised abstinence” on religious grounds for years, but couldn’t quite make it to their wedding day. When they did have sex, however, they made up for lost time.
“Now imagine a young couple having spent literally years of teasing each other…
“I can still remember one weekend (Friday evening until Monday morning) in which we literally had sex 28 times. We did not leave our bedroom. It was marvellous.”
Listen: Mia, Holly and Jessie talk about the short story that has the world talking this week. (Post continues…)
However, that relationship later ended when his partner cheated on him.
Once again Hansvanhengel chose to wait, and he and his now-wife managed to make it to their wedding day. Unfortunately, it wasn’t great.
“Not for religious reason this time, but because we felt it would be better for us. We waited for 1.5 years, the married and then had sex the first time.
Top Comments
The woman who didn’t know that men’s penises grow with the rest of them - holy crap, are there some gaps in her education! I’m assuming a religious/abstinence-only schooling here, and I’m starting to think people raised like that need some sort of adults sex ed before marriage. I’m not being judgemental here, if people want to wait, that’s cool. But not knowing basic anatomy is a worry, and it makes me wonder what else she doesn’t know. The woman who was still feeling guilty makes me feel sad too. She did everything ‘right’, and still can’t enjoy it, seems unfair.
My husband and I were both virgins when we got married.
Even though it took our entire honeymoon to figure out what we were doing, it was fun learning about each other's bodies. We still have a great sex life 6 years & 2 kids later.
We each went into it with the desire to make the other happy, and satisfied sexually - so communication is always open.
I really love the fact my husband is the only man I have ever held hands with, kissed, or had sex with. It makes our connection really special.
and are you the only person he has ever done those things with? I always wonder that, especially if the man is - as is often the case - a bit older than the woman.
It's great your relationship is happy and stable in every way, I just cannot see how having held hands, kissed or had sex with another person would affect that union. Surely no one truly believes a person can get ''used up'' or they are somehow ''soiled'', not in this day and age? Whatever works though and evidently it's worked well for you.
I said I was glad that I have never missed anyone else etc, not that I think that everyone has to be the same as me! Everyone has a different journey in life, and relationships don't always work out - but I am happy, for me, that my husband is my one and only.
Incidentally, my husband is actually 3 years younger than me. And let's just say that I am confident that he'd never had sex before our wedding night - it was definitely a learning experience for us both. ;-)