lifestyle

Guy who invented viagra solves another major penis problem.

ice-penis
Subtle

By MAMAMIA ROGUE

So, the guy who invented Viagra has come up with another way to make penises way better for everybody:

Wang anaesthetic.

Please – allow us to explain.

Mark Wyllie (you have no idea how much we hope that’s pronounced ‘willy’), has developed a fancy new drug which he claims solves the problem of premature ejaculation.

It’s called Tempe, and it’s basically a numbing spray that men apply directly to their genitals to avoid feeling any special tingles during sexy-times. Because we all know too many special tingles lead to a special explosion. Which is not ideal for the ladies if it happens within 30 seconds.

According to reports, Tempe is applied a few minutes before the gentleman feels like doing the deed, and can then make the gentleman forget he has a penis for up to TWO HOURS. When the effects wear off, said gentleman’s penis suddenly regains all sensation, realises it’s in a vagina and things wrap up pretty quickly.

Everybody wins! (Except for the men who apparently experienced a ‘burning sensation’ during trials. Sucks to be those guys.)

viagra-alternative
Tempe Spray.
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Tempe has been approved by the European Medicines Agency and will be available in the US late this year. Australia will surely not be far behind.

With that in mind, let’s be serious for a second here. Premature ejaculation is a real problem that can have pretty devastating effects for men and couples. Research and solutions are needed. But… A penis aneasthetic? Really? It kind of feels like that may create more problems than it solves. For example:

1. If this is a topical spray, one would assume it could rub off onto something else – namely, the other person’s special place. And if nobody’s feeling anything, you really might as well just whip out the onesies and watch Scandal. Saves everyone a whole lotta effort.

2. If whatever chemicals/drugs/magic potions in this spray are strong enough to cut off all feeling to an entire appendage, why would you want that spray anywhere near your appendage? Just sayin’.

3. Two HOURS? Seriously? Considering this spray does nothing for one’s stamina, that seems a little excessive. Sex is fabulous and all, but once you hit the 45 minute mark, chances are one (or both) of you is going to want to starfish it.

4. What if something bad happens and you don’t know because you can’t feel anything? Two words: Penis fracture.

5. Just because you can’t feel it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Isn’t numbing the affected area and going for gold just the equivalent to sticking one’s, um, head in the sand? If there really is a serious problem, wouldn’t it make sense to try and figure out if there’s some kind of cause?

Just some possible negatives to ponder. But to avoid getting too blue, here’s a gallery of stuff that accidently looks like penises:

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So what do you think? Is a penis anaesthetic a helpful solution or just a little crazy?

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