kids

'I'm the mum-friend who annoys all of the overly organised parents to tears.'

The other day I was having a giggle with a girlfriend about the different types of mum friends we have (and which we were).

So I decided to sit down and detail the different types of mum friends I have and why I love them so much. I know I take out a couple of these…

The ‘just had their first baby’ mum friend.

When you’ve got a few kids under the belt, spotting a new mum becomes wayyyyy too easy. My ‘new mum’-dar is red hot.

Characterised by a clean pram and child in pristine brand named clothing, ‘just had their first baby’ mum friends are typically late to every social engagement and the first to leave — or, you know, just never rock up. (It’s okay, we understand. We were once there, too.)

Listen: What do you do when your daughter wants to go to a sleepover but you don’t know the parents? Post continues… 

The ‘overly organised’ mum friend.

This mum is not me. I wish it was, but it isn’t. This is the mum who you have to schedule a playdate in with about three months in advance, with specific time, play and itinerary.

The overly organised mum has lists, keeps a diary, and most likely has a reminder for herself to confirm with ‘of the moment mum’ about their upcoming date — as well as a planned menu for said play date.

Reese Witherspoon's Big Little Lies character is definitely the organised mum. (Image: HBO)

The ‘of-the-moment’ mum friend.

This one is me, and this one shits the overly organised mum friends to tears.

This mum friends texts you “Hey, wanna go to the park?” with five minutes warning, or calls at 5pm on Saturday to head out for a wine.

‘Of the moment’ mum never knows what she’s doing until about five seconds after it’s happened and is really great at forgetting about dates she planned three months in advance. She is also heavy on the sarcasm and vinos (a.k.a. “YOLO mum”).

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Wine: non-negotiable. (Image: ABC)

The ‘only on social media’ mum friend.

This is the mum friend you haven't seen in ages. But you feel like you know her intimately because she constantly posts pictures and updates online (or, you know, runs a blog and details her entire life across multiple social platforms... but who would do that?).

With the rise of multiple social media platforms, online mums groups, etc., we all have a couple of friends we only keep up with via a screen, and will spend months saying to each other, “Let’s catch up soon!”... but never do.

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The ‘ridiculously and effortlessly cool’ mum friend.

If you didn’t know this mum friend and you saw her down the street, you'd assume, 'Those kids aren’t even hers' — because she just looks to freaking cool.

Her Instagram is usually awash with monochrome images of her and the kids in trendy matching street-style attire and an always on point mum-bun (the same on you try to replicate and look homeless).

"I'm a cool mum." (Image: Paramount Pictures)
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The ‘been around the block’ mum friends.

This is the mum friend with older or more kids than you. She's the one you look at and think, 'Shit she’s got this down pat'. She's got a baby at home, one in kinder, multiple in school (so she’s driving around many blocks at drop off and pick up) and still managing to run a business, keep a home and be there for wine time like a total badass – all while seeming cool, calm and collected.

The ‘always losing her shit’ mum friend.

We’ve all got at least one of these mum friends, right? Where nothing seems to ever go right? Every day is some drama? (Don’t even mention her MIL).

You don’t mind ‘always losing her shit’ mum cause she’s always good for a laugh and got some epic stories, but sometimes you look at her name come up on your phone and think ‘I’ll deal with that later’. (But we still love you).

sleep deprived parents
"She's got some epic stories, but there's always drama.." (Image via Freestyle Images)
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The ‘Pinterest-perfect’ mum friend.

This is the mum friend who posts a photo saying, “Just a quick and easy dinner tonight” and it's a 12-course feast fit for the Last Supper that she probably started making three days ago.

‘Pinterest perfect’ mum is usually a great go-to for wines, because more than likely she’ll have an epic picture-perfect cheese board she’s ‘thrown together’ waiting for you on arrival. She's also your go-to when you child needs a birthday cake...

Listen: Our parenting podcast This Glorious Mess covers all the parenting dilemmas. Post continues...

The ‘doesn’t have kids’ friends.

These are some of the most important mum friends, because the kid-less friends are always the gal pals you can count on to make any and every insignificant birthday or party.

‘Doesn’t have kids’ friend/s make you feel like you still have some shred of coolness and that you’re not that old – yet. They're also great when you need some ‘mum time’, except they usually want to make dinner reservations for later than 8pm and you die a little inside at the thought of staying up so late...

Do you recognise any of these mums? Which one are you?

This post originally appeared on Olivia White's website House of White.