real life

"A girl doesn't need one best friend. She needs six."


Ladies, you’re gonna need to load up on these babies.

This post was first published in Cosmopolitan Australia magazine.

Every now and then, a new word enters our collective vernacular. This year dictionaries have welcomed inaugural definitions for ‘selfie’, ‘space tourism’ and ‘babymoon’ into their pages. Seriously.

What attracts less focus are words that disappear from use. The ones which simply lose their buzz and go out of style, forced to wither and die a lonely death in definitional purgatory.

But one dictionary term whose demise remains disturbingly overdue is: the ‘Best Friend’. I honestly cannot think of any less-necessary label in the English language.

It’s the ‘forever’ bit I have a problem with.

The whole ‘picking just one above the rest’ part too.

Through my life I’ve had a lot of very close female friends who have moved in and out of my circle. But I’ve never had that One Single Mate to Beat All Other Mates. I’m the greedy type – can’t I have three or even four BFFs? Please?

Then recently, I was given a simple yet perfect piece of advice, which resolved my life long search for an actual bestie once and for all. It was this: Stop expecting one person in your life to provide for all your emotional needs. You have different people for different reasons and at different times. And that’s okay.

Kapowezzeeeefgrph. (That is the sound of my mind being blown).

I realised life isn’t an episode of Survivor where you rank everyone on an invisible ladder that exists only in your mind’s eye and each week you vote the bottom ranking gal off the island.

A dame doesn’t need a single bestie. She needs a bunch of them.


Six to be precise. (Yes. Six. This is based on a very scientific and precise theory of… Well, me when writing this column and thinking about life, love and the universe.)

The girls from SATC had all of the types of friends covered,

The first friend is the Wise Old Soul. The kind of person who gives the mind-blowing advice I mentioned above. Someone who shares similar values and ambitions but has already made the mistakes you will because they’re a few years (or decades) further down the track.

The second is the Girl Who Listens. The friend who brings sympathy in the form of hugs, endless cups of tea and wears a cute sparkly t-shirt that she doesn’t mind you crying and snotting all over.

The third is the One You’ve Known Forever and Ever. Or at least, a friend who you don’t have to explain your history to. We all need a mate who doesn’t require the back story; a mate who knows everything (and everyone) you’ve ever done. Because they were right there beside you doing it too.

The fourth is the Always Up for a Red Wine Friend. Someone who will always join you for that weeknight drinks catch up. Or a last minute weekend at the beach. Or a trip to Eastern Europe. Or parasailing, or bungee jumping or hang gliding (anything with heights really). The friend who is up for anything.

The fifth is the all important Giver of Blunt Honesty. Sometimes you just need someone to tell it like it is; to give tough love, rather than lovely love. Because when everyone is saying your new choppy faux bob with a blunt fringe and hot pink balayage is babing – you need that one friend who’ll cart you immediately back to the hairdresser and take care of business.

And the sixth is a Love Friend. ‘Cos… well, they’re just nice to have around.

What do you think? Have any special besties that don’t fit the six types here?