The truth about having a C-Section.

Because it’s finally time we start talking about it.

I recently read an article I keep on C-Sections. It was about a group of mums who claimed that other mums who had experienced a Caesarean delivery had not actually given birth. It was an article which I wished I had never read as it annoyed me somewhat. This is clearly the outcome that this group is after with their ridiculous statements and claims, but it still had an impact on me.

Since then, perhaps because it has been on my mind, I have seen many Caesarean articles. Some positive and some not so.

Passing judgement on other mothers is something that I feel very strongly about. Whether this is a choice to return to work, a decision to breast or bottle feed or how a baby is delivered, it enrages me when people believe that there is only one way to do things and that anything else is inferior.

I think it is wonderful to read stories about mums who made the decision and were able to birth at home, in front of a roaring fire with the whole family present. I also think it is amazing when a mother gives birth in hospital with no pain medication. It is similarly amazing to hear of mums who delivered in hospital after taking the full range of medication on offer and also those who have given birth by C-Section.

The implication that having a C-Section is the easy option or the procedure somehow makes you less of a mother than someone who endures a long and pain medication free labour is just ludicrous.

During my first pregnancy I did a lot of reading. I wanted a water birth. In hospital. With little or no pain relief. I did pregnancy yoga and a natural birthing course. I read about the value of instant skin to skin contact between mother and baby. I read how a vaginal birth allows the baby to expel mucous which a caesarean doesn’t. I read stories of wonderful “natural” births and few stories at all about C-Sections.

I was adamant that I would not be having drugs or a C-Section. I thought I knew what was important to me. That was to have the dream birthing experience.

I made up playlists of music that I would listen to. I packed things that I would like to have around me in the delivery room. I checked out the birth pool in the local hospital. I gave my partner strict instructions of what I wanted and for him to remind me of them if I started to waver.

Oh, how quickly it became apparent to me what was REALLY important. None of the “fluff” that I had identified above even flashed into my mind when I heard the words:

“We can’t find the baby’s heart beat.”

I did not even have one moment of concern for my carefully constructed birth plan as I was rushed along the corridor to the operating theatre.

As I sat alone on the cold table in the anaesthetics room silently praying that the doctor would hurry up and administer the drugs, the only thing I was concerned about was safely delivering my daughter.

She was already a little person to me. We knew she was a girl. We had chosen her name. Her room was all ready for her. I had been interacting with her for months. Her safety was the ONLY thing that mattered.

In the theatre there were further issues in getting the baby out. I think it is fairly rare for forceps to be used for a caesarean delivery, but they were in mine. Again, I simply did not care. Simply having her in my arms safe and well would mean that 28^th June 2009 had been the perfect day.

Yes, she was born in a sterile operating theatre. There was no music, just the slightly panicked talk of the doctors and nurses. There was no gentle easing into the world, instead a big bruise on her face where the forceps grabbed her.

When she was brought around the screen and I met her and held her for the first time, the mode of delivery was irrelevant. In fact that did not even cross my mind. She was there in my arms, breathing, crying and alive. That was what mattered.

As she was taken from the theatre back to the nursery for all her checks and I was being put back together and taken to the recovery area I did not feel any disappointment. I did not feel like a failure for not sticking to the plan that I had. I knew that the skin to skin contact would come and that one hour would make no difference.

I would challenge anyone to say that I do not have the bond with my daughters that I would have had had they been born in the birthing pool. Nor have they experienced any health problems because they are Caesarean babies. I am not a better or worse mother than I would have been had she been born according to plan. I am not a better or worse mother than any other woman who had the same or different birthing experience.

I bonded immediately with both my daughters. They were both breast fed exclusively for 6 months and then I continued until each was 18 months old. There were no terrible mucous filled nights of terror because they were not squeezed down the birth canal.

I now have a 4 year old and 5 year old daughter. Nobody would ever know how they were birthed. Same as they would not know how they were fed as babies. Nor would they know if I drank the odd glass of alcohol or not when I was pregnant.

In fact the only signs of my two caesarean sections are a very small and neat scar, and my ability to skip rope without having to go to the toilet.

Having a caesarean delivery is hard. It is mentally tough, just like having a vaginal delivery. It can be lonely when your birthing partner has to go and scrub for theatre and you are taken to be anaesthetised. It is also painful. Recovering from having your abdominal muscles and uterine wall cut open takes time.

But it is still a joyous experience of giving birth. Of bringing another brand new life into the world.

When I look at my two daughters, I would not change anything in the world as they are perfect just the way they are.

Have you had a C-Section or know anybody who has? Did you ever feel judged?

Like this? Try these:

“10 things I wish I could go back and tell myself about having a baby.”

“I lie awake at night worrying what would happen if I asked my friends to do one thing before they see my newborn.”