
Ask Roxy is a series that answers women’s burning workplace questions, from how to deal with a toxic co-worker to how to ask for a pay rise.
Roxy Jacenko is the founder and director of Sweaty Betty PR, The Ministry of Talent, Social Union, 18 Communications, Pixie’s Bows and Roxy Jacenko Accessories, and is known for being straight-talking, tenacious and relentless in her commitment to keeping her clients and customers happy.
Here, 28-year-old Mel, who works in Sales, has a question for Roxy.
I have a co-worker who I can’t stand.
She’s incredibly negative – always whinging about her life, as well as our workplace, and she sucks all the energy out of me. I’m not sure how to act around her, because I don’t want other people putting me in the same category. She’s started rumours about people and tears down other people’s work. Recently, she’s started making comments about people’s appearances – saying they’re ugly, or not looking after themselves. She’s also lazy in her role, but because we’re on the same level, I don’t feel like it’s my place to say anything.
It’s having a direct impact on my well being at work, because I come in anxious that she’s been talking about me behind my back, too. I also end up picking up the slack of her workload, and don’t get a lot of credit for doing so.
Our manager doesn’t seem to notice it, or she’s just chosen to ignore it. How do I stop the negative conversations from happening, and also get management to take notice of what a toxic person she is?
Haven’t we all experienced this at some point? It’s a frustrating yet all too common occurrence in the workplace. I personally can’t tolerate this on any level – it’s an absolute drain and not to mention bore! If this was happening in my office, I’d be putting a stop to it quick smart. After all, it only takes one rotten apple to spoil the whole cart.
The workplace can pose countless issues. Here, psychologist David Gillespie explains what to do if you suspect your boss might be a psychopath. Post continues after video.
Top Comments
A sales manager is not primarily going to care about their reps attitude, not nearly as much as they care about results. In fact, they may only care about her numbers and will turn a blind eye to pretty much anything else if she is a top performer.
Sales is a high pressure job and it sounds like she’s perhaps burnt out or at least cynical given her experiences. Has she been in the role long? What are her results like?
If she is experienced and has just become jaded over time, maybe try to redirect the conversation to pick her brain. Even if she teaches in a cynical, negative way, you can still learn from experience, which helps you and in a way, will help her as well because it’s hard to stay negative talking to someone who genuinely wants to hear your knowledge.
I read elsewhere recently that when commenting on a work-mate's appearance there is a basic rule to follow.
Comment on their clothes, accessories, their hair or makeup, but never their physical attributes. I would add that compliments are acceptable, but criticism is not.
Good examples: "Nice shoes", "I love what you've done with your hair", "That colour really looks great on you."
Bad examples: "Nice boobs".
You had to read it somewhere to be aware of those basic social rules? The fact that it's not already self-evident that it's unprofessional to comment on anyone's physical appearance is inappropriate is concerning.
Lighten up, I was having fun.