Man writes a love letter to girlfriend on the toilet. And they say romance is dead...

The one where a man thoughtfully leaves a romantic love note his new girlfriend giving her permission to use his toilet.

Love notes have been known to have a pants dropping effect.  It’s just, well, we hope this one doesn’t catch on…

For centuries, men have romanced us ladies with prose that made our hearts swell, our souls sing and our eyes mist over:

But now one man has left a love note for his girlfriend in a move that has seen him labelled as the World’s Best Worst Boyfriend.

The story goes like this:

Our starstruck lovers were locked in the honeymoon period.  Ahhh. The rare time in your life when you wear the best underwear, shave your legs, use your most fragrant shampoo so your hair is at its sniffable best, refrain from chewing your nails and bust your guts holding in your farts.

ROSIE: I need to be able to fart in front of my boyfriend

But after a full day of staying in, ordering takeaway and gazing at each others bits eyes, our heroine needed to go to the powder room to drop a massive dump freshen up.

It was the first time she’d ever had to “freshen up” at her new partner’s place and naturally, she was worried.  ‘Cos, sometimes, a lady has business to do. And that business is no business of a sparkly new boyfriend, especially one that she’s just shared a Lamb Rogan Josh and a few grande double espresso soy mocha lattes with.

So our lady goes to the powder room for business time.  And while she is muffling her strains, pretending it’s all fine and good, THIS NOTE is slipped under the door:

‘Oh HOW LOVELY,’ says the internet.

‘HE KNOWS YOU ARE POOING AND HE WROTE YOU A NOTE.  WHAT A HERO.’

But I think it’s EWW. A misguided attempt at romance that leaves me wanting to wash my hands. Can’t we just, for a moment, keep the romance alive? Keep our fond-feelings faeces free?

More on keeping the romance alive: 8 date night ideas to try this year

Can we please have a moment of peace to deal with our business without our boyfriends knowing about it, commenting on it, making sure we know they’re okay with it? IS NOTHING SACRED?

A good poo is a private matter and not a matter for love notes or the beautiful face of Ryan Gosling.

More Gosling (Not related to toilets): The real reason Ryan Gosling wasn’t named Sexiest Man Alive

The only part I like about this terrible tale is at least she had something to read.

But to the boyfriend? I’m sorry, you’re just not the world’s best. Get away from behind the door and leave us to poo in peace.  And the next time you write a love note, leave it under the pillow. Not the toilet door.

What do you think? Was this the act of a brilliant, thoughtful boyfriend or should Mr Creepy-Pants get away from the door and let our lady powder her pants nose in peace?