The first rule of toddler club, people, is that you don’t talk about toddler club.
It’s a toddler club folks….. and we are not invited.
1st rule of toddler club – You do not talk about toddler club.
2nd rule of toddler club – You do not talk about toddler club.
3rd rule of toddler club – Protest getting into the bath. Once in, protest getting out.
4th rule of toddler club – If asked a question, the answer is no. Always no. The only exception is when the question is: “Do you want a treat?”
5th rule of toddler club – Never go to bed. Ask a question. Ask ten questions. Request water. You have to go potty. You need a tissue. You need a story. You need a new pillow. New Pajamas. A back-rub. Just Never. Go. To. Bed.
6th rule of toddler club – If younger brother or sister is crying, cry louder to ensure total panic in household.
7th rule of toddler club – If pasta is served, ask for pizza. If pizza wish is granted, ask for pasta.
8th rule of toddler club – Never, under any circumstances, put any article of clothing on when asked only once.
9th rule of toddler club – Dinner is breakfast. Breakfast is dinner. Do not be fooled.
10th rule of toddler club – If mummy says no, try daddy. If daddy says no, tell mummy he said yes.
11th rule of toddler club – Do not attempt to get all of any food in your mouth. Your clothes are hungry too.
12th rule of toddler club – Don’t trust anything with a crust. Rinds are not our friends.
In each other we trust,
Toddler Management.
This was originally published here and is republished with full permission.
Would your toddler
And if you are wondering how to keep that little one occupied, try these:
Want more? Try:
If you are stuck at home with a toddler, this will make you feel better.
