There I am at the park, checking my phone. I’m in the car, checking my phone. I’m even hiding out in their bedrooms on days where I feel I’ve had it, you guessed it, checking my phone.
Being a stay at home/work from home mum all day with your kids has the ability to make you feel out of touch, lonely and sometimes really isolated and for a mum feeling this way there are few things available that provide the instant escapism that social media does.
But what happens when social media starts competing with your parenting?
Of course it’s not how I wanted to live but gradually, that’s exactly what happened.
Now I work in media, obviously, so it’s important that I am connected to the social media channels but my obsession with all things ‘book and ‘gram really hit home when I took a good look at just how much time I’m spending immersed in other’s people’s lives instead of my children’s.
It’s so bad I’ll admit that my friends would joke that my phone is ‘my lifeline’ or my fourth child. And sadly, they’re right.
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The first thing my eyes do in the morning is adjust to daylight and check in to see if something interesting has happened on Facebook while I’ve been asleep. Our sleeping positions speak volumes, my daughter is still in a cot beside my bad and between us, my phone.
Why do I care what other people have been up to? The first thing my eyes should see in the morning is my husband and my babies because together, they are far more beautiful than any filter.
When I feed my daughter I’m automatically reaching for my phone to keep me entertained. I hate myself for this because I know that our breastfeeding relationship won’t last forever and I will look back in sadness at the times I should have been stroking her hair, singing to her instead of cruising Instagram shops.
When my kids do something hilarious or cute, I can’t be in the moment with them. Oh no, I need to grab the phone to document the memory. I’ll possibly even upload it to my social media later. Am I that stupid to think that I don’t need to capture the memory on my phone if I allowed my brain to capture it for me forever?
So this week I’ve had a good, long look at myself and my life. Is this how I want to remember my children, from behind a phone? Absolutely not. I’m on a self ban.
Friends, please don’t expect me to ‘like’ your latest post because I’m too busy adoring my daughter’s attempts at crawling.
I won’t be joining any groups online because the group I belong to is the only one that matters, my family.
And please don’t get offended if you don’t see me respond to your messages with the usual prompt nature, I’ll be chatting to my kids about what’s important to them.
Facebook and Instagram, my online family needs to get right back to where it belongs which is a long, long way behind the real loves of my life.