Sometimes, when I’m talking to the twenty-something girls I work with, it’s fun to tell them horror stories about my wedding.
What? Did someone throw up on the dance floor?
Did your husband grope the maid of honour? The best man?
Did your limo driver get pinged for being over the limit?
No, it was much worse than that. Take a deep breath, girls …
• My dress was made by the mum of one of my school friends. I bought the fabric from a shop in the city, tore a pic from a magazine and Mrs Stolz ran it up on her Pfaff.
• The lady who lived across the street when I was growing up offered to make a veil for me. I’m not a veil kinda girl, but I wore it.
• My mother-in-law-to-be offered to make a tiered fruit cake with marzipan icing. Like most sane people, I hate fruitcake.
At this point the girls I’m talking to wonder if I was:
(a) So desperate to be off the shelf I’d say yes to anything.
(b) Putting together a wedding on $50 as if it was a cruel new reality TV show – Broke Brides Of Brisbane.
(3) Like overly milky tea: weak, with no taste.
The answer is none of the above. I was simply happy to be marrying this particular fella.
And fifteen years later, looking at the pictures, I see none of the hokeyness, just wedding photos much like anyone else’s.*
Because when you boil it down, a wedding’s a wedding’s a wedding. Even people who think they’re being radical (bridesmaids all wearing different dresses! groomsmen in pink suits! couple leaving on a Vespa!), they’re really just fiddling with the details.
These days, the average wedding costs upwards of $40,000. Many brides approach the event as if it’s the Olympic Opening Ceremony. Drama! Hype! Nothing short of perfection will do!
And I get that – except so often, the quest for wedding perfection seems to bring more misery than happiness. Best friends fall out. Aunties argue. Family tensions and spiralling costs mean the joy dissolves, and that initial enthusiasm is replaced by snakiness and resentment.
Settling for ‘good enough’ rather insisting ‘perfect’ might be a better approach.