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Highlights from the week that was.

By MAMAMIA ROGUE

Keeping track of all the news in the week that was is almost as hard as keeping focused on a Friday afternoon. So we decided to try and solve both those problems for you, with a Friday arvo highlight reel of all the bits you need to know.

Some are weird, some are funny, some make you want to crawl under your desk and TGIF.

Here we go:

Australia:

1. Melbourne was named the most livable city in the world, a fact that every other city deemed ridiculous and inaccurate. Melbourne didn’t care though, and just rode its bike to a hipster beard contest held in a laneway bar that only serves homemade cider. MELBOURNE 4EVA.

Because MELBOURNE.

 2. Yougurberry, one 349 new chains of FroYo that popped up around the country one mysterious night, claimed to be healthy and made the folks at consumer watchdog Choice laugh and laugh and laugh.

Yogurberry has been telling customers that yoghurt contains ‘vast quantities of bifidus lactobacillus that is not only excellent for your digestion but can also aid weight loss and significantly lower the risk of coronary heart disease” which is true – in all kinds of yoghurt except those sold at Yogurberry.

3. The State of Origin streaker was given three months in jail for his graceful sprint across the field. We only bring that up so we can show this spectacular meme from the day:

Everywhere else:

1. President Obama has been trying to get permission from his Congress to invade Syria and take action against Bashar al-Assad for allegedly using chemical weapons against his own people. O should probably hold off on making any drastic decisions though – Tony Abbott will soon be available to explain the complicated concept of ‘baddies vs. baddies’.

And that could change the entire game plan.

2. The world’s first racist donut was invented in Thailand, before Dunkin’ Donuts realised that racism is actually kind of offensive. Woops! The ‘charcoal’ donut was launched with a photo of a girl in blackface make-up:

The uproar over blackface is understandable, what’s not immediately clear is why no one was offended by the concept of a ‘charcoal’ donut. We reached out to to donuts for a quote and have not yet received a response.

3. DC Comics won’t let Batwoman marry the lady she loves, even though she has proposed TWICE. The creative team behind the comic have now quit in protest, with one of them tweeting the following:

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Altogether now: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Someone should send this pic to the head honchos at DC:

Special Election Edition:

1. Joe Hockey finally released the coalition’s policy costings and seemed very, very nervous about it:

Then Wayne Swan tweeted some clever word-play about sweat and nerves and LIES and the two swapped Mean-Girl style barbs on Twitter for a while. Check it:

2. Clive Palmer said some weird shit on the Today Show and now everyone’s saying he’s lost his mind. But it could be argued that the guy who already owns an anamatronic t-rex and is rebuilding a giant floating monument of death was pretty cray already. Here’s the interview:

3. Tony Abbott went on Big Brother with two of his girls and said vote for him COS SEXY DAUGHTERS. Conspiracy theories abound about the phantom third daughter and why she’s missing in action.

4. In what may be his last slam-dunk of political life, Kevin Rudd pulverised a pastor who asked him how he could endorse gay marriage when it definitely makes baby Jesus cry and kills all the puppies. K-Rudd’s answer went viral:

5. The Liberal candidate who is running against Kev got his song on for this little number. Watch for the cameo by soon-to-be (all the polls say so…. come on) Foreign Affairs Minister Julie Bishop.

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